Exile
by Mokusan
Summary: Banished from Konoha for crimes he did not commit, Shikamaru finds himself abandoned by everyone and everything. When he is rescued by ninja from Suna, he begins anew as his life in Konoha becomes nothing but a bitter memory he only wants to forget.
1. Prologue: The End

**This piece contains spoilers for the Naruto manga! You have been WARNED!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.  
**Setting:** Takes place **two or three years** after Asuma's death.

**Prologue: The End**

* * *

Although the entire village was gathered at the gates, there was nothing but silence. The smaller children stood toward the back of the crowd, kept quiet only by the thick tension that rolled sluggishly through the air. In theory there should have been someone fidgeting with their head protector or shifting their weight from one leg to the next. At least one child should have let out nothing less than a few grumbles and nothing more than a moaning complaint. Someone should have coughed or let loose a few sighs.

But no one did.

Shikamaru filed these facts away as his dark, calculating eyes swept over the large gathering of ninja. He was still trying to think of a way out, trying to find some means of escape in what he knew was a hopeless situation. There were times when he felt cursed with such a gifted mind; this happened to be one of them. No one wanted the ability to accurately predict a horrible fate when the chances of his being wrong were as slim as Naruto giving up ramen. It only provided a sense of hopelessness, a sense of helplessness. In truth, he still one of them and this shed a sliver of light on situation at hand.

Then Tsunade removed herself from the crowd and Shikamaru fell back into darkness.

If the sorrow reflected in her hazel eyes was meant to be comforting, it was lost in the shortening distance between chuunin and Hokage. Tsunade stopped before Shikamaru, pausing a short moment; whether this was to gather her words or to banish regret, he would never know. But as she lifted her gaze to meet his, all pain had vanished to be replaced by a glazed and distant look Shikamaru could only reflect. It did not occur to him until later that he might not have appeared as nearly upset as he felt with such a blank expression.

"Shikamaru Nara," Tsunade barked. He straightened himself, holding his head high. He would leave with his head held high, if nothing else. "You have been charged with two accounts of espionage and three accounts of attempted murder. By the will of the Council and the power vested in me, I declare that you are hereby banished from Konoha Village." She paused to allow her words to sink in and her face hardened. "Should you return, you will be killed on sight. Is that understood?"

"Yes."

Tsunade removed a kunai, holding it before her as if she were about to slice open his head. Fear flashed across Shikamaru's eyes before she seized his left arm. She raised the kunai high before bringing it down across the metal plate of what had once been intended to be his forehead protector. Opening his eyes that had fallen shut in his surprise, he glanced down to see a thick groove cut through the leaf symbol.

As his arm fell limply to his side, he took a step back, daring a glance at the crowd once more. His parents were to his right; his father looked angry, his mother upset. They didn't really believe the charges held against him, did they? Naruto and Sakura came next, the latter on the verge of tears much like his mother; Shikamaru had complete confidence that they were on his side. Same as Shino, Kiba and Neji; even Lee and Tenten looked upset that he would no longer be one of them.

A sharp pain pierced his heart as he gaze fell on Ino and Chouji. So soon after Asuma's death and they were already losing one more; they didn't deserve this. No one deserved this. Unable to look at them any longer, he tore his eyes away and focused again on Tsunade. If he had to leave, he wanted the memories of his friends to be happy ones.

"Run, Shikamaru," Tsunade whispered, looking to their feet. The kunai was embedded in the ground, a sign that the ceremony of sorts was over.

"What?" For once the genius didn't have a clue.

"I said _run_ and never come back." Her head whipped up, face contorted into an expression of anger and sadness one could not begin to explain. "You will die if you return. _Run!_"

Shikamaru promptly turned and stalked away toward the gates. They seemed so distant now, as if he'd never reach them. He paused in his slow stride, turning and risking one last glance at the assembled village. A thousand eyes stared back at him, some pitying, some desperate; most were angry and murderous. Suppressing a shudder he turned back to the gate.

And then he ran.

He ran until he had reached the gates and even then he did not stop. The former ninja dashed through the gates and into the world beyond, stumbling over roots and bushes. Branches scratched at his body and more than once he was sent colliding to the ground, a wave of mud rising up to greet him each and every time. Undaunted, he gathered himself up and sped off again. It was as if all common sense had deserted him; for now he was nothing but lost and confused.

When at last he did stop, he clutched his side, leaning against tree trunk, its bark rough and hard as he slid down to sink in the mud. He was in pain, muscles sore and limp. His various scratches stung in the fresh onslaught of rain and his breathing came in sharp, ragged intakes. There was a stitch in his side and overall Shikamaru felt extremely miserable. There was no telling how long he had run; it felt like years, though perhaps it had only been hours.

Either way, it seemed the end of his life had come at last and his personal hell had only just begun.

Tears streamed from his eyes, mingling with the rain and mud already streaking his face. He cried for being punished so wrongly, for being exiled when it was not fair for him to be. He cried while cursing the bastard that had caused all his pain and grief and again because it was not right for his friends and family to suffer so harshly. He cried for what seemed to be a life that had lost direction and for knowing that soon he would fade from Konoha history as if he had never existed.

Shikamaru curled into a ball and squeezed his eyes shut. Sobs sent shudders down his spine. He cried himself asleep, overwhelmed in despair and agony. Never before had he felt such loss and never before had he felt so very much alone.


	2. Chapter One: Accusations

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.  
**A/N:** This chapter didn't come out quite how I planned. I'm still fond of it, though. Please note that although this chapter begins about a week before the prolouge, the chapter itself does not take place all in one day. I'm a bit afraid of Tsunade's character, as I don't think I wrote her very well. But I tried. The Sand Nin will appear in the next chapter. Hurrah. Thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter One: Accusations**

* * *

In all his life Shikamaru could not recall ever being as cold as he was now. It was mid-summer and he was sure that outside it was sweltering. At the moment, however, he could not see the sky, never mind surrender to the blistering heat wafting down from the sun. They had locked him up tight and, had it not been for the numerous visitors he'd received, he would have very well believed that they had thrown away the key.

There was no light within his pitiful cell, though Shikamaru had never been afraid of the dark. Rather, he had learned to embrace it and use it - aside from the clouds, it was in the shadows that he felt most at ease. The walls were damp and the chill made his body numb. There might have been a bed of sorts on the opposite side of the room, but it was far too troublesome to move about. It was there he sat, detached from the world, staring into an empty abyss. It was there that he waited, not knowing what it was, exactly, he was waiting for.

At times it seemed the only thing keeping him sane were his cigarettes. Or, rather, Asuma's cigarettes. Once upon a time he had complained of their stench, of their filth and smoke. Now it was the only thing familiar, other than the bleak dark he called home. On occasion the lighter flickered to life, casting an eerie glow about his cell. He would light the cigarette and the light would vanish, replaced by the burning embers that floated on the end of the stick protruding from his mouth. Smoke swirled about his head and clouded the chamber. There was a time he would have complained, but he had long since adjusted to the smell - his eyes no longer watered and it was almost comforting. Most of all, it reminded Shikamaru of his friends and that was what he needed most.

Then came the day when he had no cigarettes left.

Huddled in his corner he lifted an arm. The lighter flickered to life, the flame held before his face by a trembling hand. He knew he was weak, having not eaten for days. But it wasn't worth the trouble of moving. Not when his only fate was death. Before long his eyes grew heavy, drooping as his exhaustion swept over him. Like the tide it was relentless and every now and then the glow from the lighter vanished. Eventually his eyes did not open and the light went out. His hand fell to his side as his head rested against the cold wall.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Shikamaru found escape from his pain. In his dreams his friends and family were there to greet him, to take him away from the madness that had become his life. In his dreams, he was no longer alone.

* * *

Shikamaru let out an involuntary moan as light flooded the room. Light was a foreign thing now, and it was only then that he realized just how weak he had become. It was a struggle to lift the arm to shield his eyes, but he succeeded and shrank back to his familiar darkness.

"The Lady Hokage is here to see you," someone, a man, said. Shikamaru dimly mused that it sounded more like a snarl than a statement. "I suggest you-"

"Shut up." This time it was a woman's voice. Shikamaru found it harder to loll back into his sleep. "Nara, pull yourself together." He must have mumbled something as a moment later his arm was removed from his face and he found himself squinting at an angry Tsunade. "They almost didn't let me in here so you had better listen."

Shikamaru eventually sat up against the wall, eyes slowly adjusting to the blaring light. Whoever had been with Tsunade had disappeared from view; he suspected they were only lurking behind the door. As his eyes landed on the woman crouched before him, she scowled.

"You look like shit." Shikamaru didn't have the energy to roll his eyes. "But you haven't even been drinking," she went on. She shoved a flask of water and a roll into his hands. "Eat this."

"Why?" The question was so faint and so raspy he wondered how she could comprehend what he was saying as his throat burned. But she tugged the flask away from him, twisting the cap off and all but forcing the water down his throat. He almost choked but, lacking the energy to fend her off, continued to drink until she pulled the flask away. It was then that he realized just how hungry and thirsty he really was. Tsunade must have known how he would react as she produced several more rolls and another flask of water shortly after he devoured the first.

"That's why," she said softly, seating herself before him. "They want you dead Shikamaru."

"I know," he said as he swallowed and tore into a third roll.

"We all know you didn't do it." Here she paused. "Most of us, anyway. I can force them to let you be free. I can make sure-"

"No." Shikamaru glared at the Hokage and, despite his trembling, managed to look at least somewhat sane. "You would lose your position as Hokage. I didn't do anything, but the people don't need lazy Shikamaru." He took a swig of the water. "They need a Hokage they can depend on."

"You've certainly thought this through while you were in here."

"Actually, I haven't done any thinking," he replied, tone bitter. "I figured that out when the ANBU forces destroyed my parents' home and took me away. They don't call me a genius for nothing." His laugh was harsh and cruel. "You know, I never thought Konoha would ever be a place I wanted to get away from."

"You won't be gone forever, Shikamaru."

"They want me dead."

"Yes, but we have at least enough evidence to demote your execution to an exile."

"I'm not so sure that's a demotion. Sounds more like hell to me."

"We can gather more evidence then," Tsunade continued, ignoring his remark. "Sakura and Ino have already started." Shikamaru paused, flask half-way to his parched mouth.

"It's a waste of time," he said at last. "The Council has already decided and we haven't had the trial yet. There isn't anything that can make them change their minds."

"Do you think that will stop your friends from trying, Shikamaru?" Tsunade's grin was almost comforting. She sighed and stood, brushing herself off. "Eat up." She marched toward the cell door, pausing only to give him one last piece of advice.

"Shikamaru?" The lazy genius grunted. "Smoking is bad for you."

* * *

He felt as if a million eyes were watching him, waiting for him to make the smallest mistake. Then they would pounce on him, kill him. Of course, this was not going to happen and even if it did, he might as already be dead for all it mattered. The others still had hope but Shikamaru knew that his end was coming. Soon enough Konoha would no longer be part of him. There was nothing to look forward to. His heart was already broken, the Council smashing the shards into another thousand pieces he would never be able to mend.

"Shikamaru Nara, you are here today under suspicion of espionage and attempted murder. If you are found guilty, you will be sentenced to banishment from Kohona Village." The man speaking was old, his voice scratchy. Shikamaru was only dimly aware that he nodded in agreement - his mind was already elsewhere, already formulating.

"Our intelligence reports that you met with one of the Sound Ninja three weeks ago on the borders of the Land of Fire and Land of Sound to relay confidential information concerning the future plans and security of Konoha Village." The old man paused and took a slow sip of water. "Do you deny this claim?"

"Yes," Shikamaru replied, lifting his steady gaze to glare at the Council. They hardly seemed fazed.

"Do you have any proof to support this claim?"

"No." He averted his eyes slightly to the left, unable to take the old man's stare any longer. Although he was lazy, he did not like to back down and he mentally slapped himself for looking away so soon.

"Is there anyone in this room who can provide substantial proof to support this man's claim?" Of all the assembled jounin, chuunin and family and friends, not one spoke. "Very well, then. Let it be known that Shikamaru Nara has committed one known account of espionage toward Konoha Village." The man shuffled his papers before turning his stern glare back toward Shikamaru.

"It has also been noted that you have thrice attempted murder on various residents of Konoha Village, among those known victims our Lady Hokage. Do you also deny these acts?"

"Yes," Shikamaru said again, his voice laced with venom.

"Do you have any proof to support this claim?" Shikamaru's heart skipped a beat.

"No," he said softly. This time his gaze fell to the ground.

"Is there anyone in this room who can provide substantial proof to support this man's claim?" Again the room was silent; Shikamaru had not expected anything more. "Let it also be known that Shikamaru Nara has committed three known accounts of attempted murder." The old man's eyes slowly swept the room, coming to a painful stop on Shikamaru. The latter looked up, face blank, to accept the punishment he had already determined.

"Shikamaru Nara, your crimes have been weighed and the Council has determined that you are guilty on all charges. As punishment you will be banished from Konoha Village unless proof of your innocence can be provided within the next five years. If, after those five years, no proof has been presented, you will be considered an enemy of Konoha Village and killed should our ninja meet you on their missions. During those five years, should you attempt to return to the village without cleared innocence, you will be killed without question." He banged the gavel on the table top. "Council dismissed!"

For a moment no one moved. Then a chuunin in the crowd rose from his seat and the masses followed. Before long the room was emptied of all but himself, Ino and Chouji. It took every ounce of will Shikamaru possessed to maintain dry eyes.

It felt as if the end had come, but he would not allow himself to cry.


	3. Chapter Two: Under the Sun

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any part of _Naruto_.  
**A/N:** Short, but the next one will be a bit longer and fill in a few gaps. Happy reading.

**Chapter Two: Under the Sun**

* * *

The heat was almost enough to make him long for the cold, bleak dark of his cell. Cloudless and blue, the sun beat down upon him from high over head. He lounged beneath a tall tree, its branches so thin and leaves so brittle that they offered no protection. It was the only tree nearby, however, and he did not possess the energy or willpower to locate more decent shade. Then again, he didn't have the energy to do much of anything.

Ordinarily it took three days to reach Suna. According to his calculations, it had been two days since his banishment. He did not know how far he had run that first day, and he had no desire to ever find out. It was not difficult, however, to assess that he was no longer in the Land of Fire and that the Suna deserts were looming near if the sand that filled the gaps between his fingers and toes was anything to go by.

Among other things, Shikamaru was also fairly certain that he smelled awful. Dried sweat clung to him like a second film of skin. Dirt was caked on his body and clothes; he was sure he felt just as awful as he looked. Nightmares plagued him in his sleep and for that he forced himself to stay awake. But even with his eyes wide open, visions of his family, friends and home caused torment and pain beyond that of which he'd ever felt before.

It wasn't long until he began to wonder if his mind had been dragged down to the cold depths of insanity.

His stomach growled, twisting in agony. The last he had eaten had been stale bread in his little cell. When he had left Konoha, he had not stopped to eat or drink - hadn't stopped to do much of anything but wail in despair. Now he was sorely regretting his ignorance, particularly now that his common sense and infamous genius had been returned to him. There was nothing to provide food or water and he lacked the strength to move away. Strangely calm, he realized that death was inevitable; at this rate he would die either of starvation or dehydration.

But then, he mused bitterly, perhaps he _wanted_ to die.

Shikamaru winced as his stomach let loose another rumble of protest. His throat too dry to moan, he settled for closing his eyes, his head lolling back to rest against the tree trunk. It was painfully silent as a dry wind swept overhead. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his chin.

I can't take it anymore.

* * *

To most an hour out in the sun would be murder. To the people of Suna, however, the heat was a natural and welcome part of their home. They had all long since adapted to the dry, harsh winds and lack of rainfall. Visitors often felt as if they had been tossed in the fiery pits of hell itself and indeed it often seemed there was no escape.

It was in such heat that Temari set out on her mission. In all honesty it wasn't really a mission - more or less the result of her extreme boredom and having a younger brother as Kazekage there to relieve such boredom as he saw fit. Unfortunately this meant being paired with Kankurou and assigned patrol duty. Patrol was, again, an understatement, she thought, unless two miles north east of the village itself could be considered 'patrol'.

A sigh escaped her lips as she held up a hand to shield her blue eyes from the sun. There was nothing but barren desert before her, the only sign of life the glimmering black dot that marked Kankurou's position some meters ahead. So long as they were being honest, she had to admit that this was rather pointless grunt work. She could be doing something productive, such as training - all the better to beat Pineapple-head the next time she saw him.

An amused smirk twitching at her lips, Temari hoisted up her fan and dashed off after her brother. He seemed just as bored as she was, if not only more so. How he managed to keep cool in his dark clothes, she would never know, but he didn't break a sweat as they dashed further away from Suna Village.

"Did you find anything?" Temari grunted, sparing a glance at Kankurou as they ran.

"No," he replied, shaking his head. "Why, were you expecting something?"

"It doesn't hurt to ask," she retorted. They bickered on for several more minutes until they came to another stop. "I'll take the left, you go right." Kankurou nodded and set off to scout to the right while Temari trudged to the left. As she walked, her mind wandered back to the day's chores and other things she had neglected to do; at least there wouldn't be anyone waiting to yell at her when she returned.

A ball of dust began to rise in the sudden warm breeze. Aside from the unsettled dirt, Temari saw nothing of remote interest. There were no birds in the cloudless sky, no lizards scuttling between rocks; not a single insect buzzed in the air. Thus, had it never moved, she would have never realized that there was something - or some_one_ - lurking beneath the tree that lay several meters away.

Her eyes narrowed as she set off at a silent sprint, a scowl marring her rose red lips the closer she came. Now she could make out a figure huddled at the trunk of the tree, though she could not get close enough to properly identify him (or her) without giving away her position.

"Kankurou," she hissed, her fingers switching on the mike at her throat. "Over."

"Yeah, Temari? Over." Kankurou's voice was slightly obstructed by static; he was father away than she thought.

"I found something," she replied. Temari paused. "I'm going in. Over."

"... Be careful, Temari. Over."

Temari took in a deep breath, momentarily closing her eyes before she slowly made her way over to the tree. As she neared, the person did not move. Temari found this to be quite odd; wouldn't someone stuck in the middle of nowhere be searching for water or food? Unless they didn't _want_ to be found...

Hand placed delicately on her fan, she took one last step around the tree.

"Pineapple head?"


	4. Chapter Three: Nightmare

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Naruto...  
**A/N:** So, I was slightly disappointed; only one review for the last chapter! Ah, well, it wasn't that good, I suppose, and that's not what it's about. I hope this one is better.

**Chapter Three: Nightmare**

* * *

There was only one other time Temari could ever remember being so worried. That had been a constant wave of concern, ebbing in and out as she followed Gaara's actions. He had always been putting himself in danger and endangering those around him; she worried for his safety, for his sanity. There were times when she was not so sure that any of them would make it to see another day. Such worry had long since diminished into the past. 

Now, as she paced the waiting room of Suna's hospital, her worry came flooding back.

A medical ninja hurried by and Temari paused long enough to chase her down the hall. The nurse had no information, however, and Temari could only return to her fretting. Every time she closed her eyes he was there. Only, instead of the healthy ninja she remembered, he was the frail, shell of a man she had found that morning near the borders of the village, half-starved beneath a tree.

"Pineapple head?"

Shikamaru forced open an eye and was met with a fuzzy image of Temari. Another illusion, he suspected; it wouldn't be the first time. "Temari?" he croaked.

"Shikamaru! What are you doing out here?" Temari demanded. She planted her fan in the ground, waiting for an answer. Her only answer came in the form of a sharp grunt, though she suspected it was a moan of pain than it was indifference. Frowning, she removed her flask of water and gave it to the ninja. Shikamaru refused.

"... Leave," he managed.

"You are in no_ position to tell me to leave! You're starving, you're dehydrated... And you still haven't told me what you're doing here in the first place!" _

If he heard a word she said, Temari would never know. The ninja from Konoha was no longer conscious as he slumped against the tree. She frowned, hand flying to her neck.

"Kankurou, we have a situation. Over."

"What kind of situation? Over."

"I just found that Nara kid from Konoha. He's in bad shape, over."

"Who did it? Over."

"Himself. He's starving, Kankurou, and he won't take my water, over."

"I'm on my way. Over," he added. His voice was still faint; it would take several minutes for him to reach her, at least. Her eyes drifted away from Shikamaru and toward the direction of Suna. There was no telling how long Shikamaru had been in this condition.

Silently, Temari wondered if there was enough time.

The sharp sound of a closing door shook Temari from her memory. Her blue eyes snapped to the front of the room. Instead of the medical ninja she had hoped for, Gaara stood at the entrance. His presence was comforting, though Temari couldn't say it helped. He came to a stop beside her, his face contorted into its usual passive expression. The silence stretched between them, unspoken concern and gratitude replacing any comforting speech.

"I'm worried, Gaara," Temari said at last, biting her lip. "Shikamaru is too level-headed to pull a stupid stunt like this. What could have happened to him?"

"There is a story," Gaara said quietly. "When he awakes he will tell you."

"But I don't want to wait!" She let out a long sigh, sitting herself in one of the plastic chairs lining the crisp white walls. "I suppose I have no choice..." Gaara stood, silent as always, but Temari knew he agreed; she could only hope the wait paid off in the end. Shikamaru was stubborn and there was a chance he might try to get away with keeping things to himself, something along the lines of it being 'too troublesome'.

Temari resolved to bring her fan with her when she visited; he'd see just how 'troublesome' things could be.

* * *

"Traitor!"

"Murderer!"

"Leave!"

Shikamaru gazed with wild eyes at his friends and family. They all glared at him with such hatred, he felt compelled to run away. Yet he firmly held his ground; he wanted to know just why they were so angry. What had he done?

"My home is ruined because of you!" His eyes looked to his mother, whom was trembling in rage. ""My precious house, everything is destroyed! It's all your fault!"

"Don't be too rash." This time his father interjected and Shikamaru allowed himself a sigh of relief. "Let him run, first."

"What?" Shikamaru croaked, eyes growing wide.

"Then kill him," his father continued as if he had not heard his son speak. He took a step forward, a kunai twirling around his finger. "He deserves to suffer."

"Traitor. Liar. Murderer. What's next, Shika-kun?" Ino's voice was mocking as she advanced toward him, Chouji by her side. "You gonna go after us, too?"

"Ino, I- Chouji, you know I would never-"

"You betrayed us, Shikamaru," Chouji said. "Now you must pay."

"NO!"

His heart was a painful throb in his chest as he sat up in bed. Another yelp escaped his dry lips as he felt a sharp pain tug at his arm. Glancing down he spotted tubes and needles pinned into his skin. He was in a bed of crisp, white sheets, the walls a pale green. He did not recognize any part of the room, nor did the scene outside his window look even vaguely familiar. How had he gotten there? What had happened, anyway?

A glint of metal on his arm caught his eye and turned to see his forehead protector fastened to his upper arm as it always was. Then he realized there was a deep groove running along the leaf symbol. For a moment he could not remember why it was there. One second passed, then two.

And suddenly Shikamaru only wanted to forget.

Falling back on the bed, he stared out the window and into the cloudless sky. He had been banished from his home; no, he had been banished from Konoha. He had no home now. For days Shikamaru had pressed himself farther and farther away from the village had once loved and cherished above all else, only to find himself not so different from a rotting carcass beneath a lonely tree in the middle of nowhere. Then Temari had found him.

Temari.

He shifted his head to glance at the tan door. It was closed, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know what lay on the other side. He must have been in Suna's hospital; he could only hope no messenger ninja had been sent to inform Konoha. If there had, Suna would be under suspicion for helping a fugitive. The delicate treaty they held would be at risk; that was something Shikamaru found he could not allow to happen.

Ignoring all common sense, he braced himself and ripped the needles from his arm. He slid to the side of the bed, shivering as his bare feet met the cold tile floor. With small effort he made it to the door. His hand was inches from the knob when it swung open. In its place stood Temari.

"You idiot!"

"Huh?"

"What are you doing out of bed!"

"I..." He blinked and realized that he didn't really know what he was going to do. It would have been impossible to escape without notice, and even then he didn't know where he was to begin with. Attempting to find the Kazekage was simply a disaster waiting to happen.

"Sit." Shikamaru obeyed, trudging back to the bed. "You need your rest." He didn't answer, nor could he bring himself to meet her intense gaze. "Shikamaru, why..."

"Was I trying to die?" His lips twisted into a bitter smile. "That's a long story."

"You weren't trying to-"

"No," he said sharply. This time he did look up. "I'm lazy, not stupid Temari. I just..." There was an awkward pause.

"I'll arrange to have someone escort you back to Konoha."

"No!"

"Shikamaru, you aren't strong enough yet to travel on your own. If something happens-"

"No! I mean, no, I'm not going back to Konoha."

"Why not?"

"I can't." Another pause. "They'll kill me."


	5. Chapter Four: Ninja of the Sand

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Naruto...  
**A/N:** Ok, so ff is being stupid and won't let us upload. I did a little trick by exporting this file, editing it, and uploading it as a new chapter. Hee; I'm such a cheater. Anyway, I _really_ like this chapter, for whatever reason, and I hope you do too! Cheers to fast updates. Thanks to all who reviewed last time!

**Chapter Four: Ninja of the Sand**

* * *

With trembling fingers he struggled to untie the headband from his arm. Twice Temari stepped forward to offer her help and twice he shot her a look laced with such venom that she fell back again. He stood straight and proud; she was sure his pride was the only thing keeping him upright. His face was blank, jaw set firm. To anyone he looked like nothing more than a loner.

Shikamaru's eyes told a different story.

Dark though they were, they once held a warmness, a kindness he reserved only for his closest and dearest comrades. Now they were as hollow as the shadows he manipulated, just as detached and twice as cold. It was with these eyes that he stared down at the limp headband in his hands.

"They were my family."

Temari looked surprised at his sudden comment. She could not see his face, though she suspected he was having a difficult time trying not to cry. As he spoke again, his voice cracked, and Temari winced.

"It was my home." His slack grip on the headband tightened. "It was every thing to me, Temari; it was my world." He lifted his head to stare out into the low valley that stretched before them. In the days following his release from his hospital he had often come here. To think, Temari assumed; there were no clouds for him to stare at. His eyes held a hint of disbelief; this all felt like a dream.

"But I have no home now." His voice was cold as ice. The grip on his headband tightened and Temari thought he might make himself bleed. "They don't want me anymore; I don't want them."

"You told me they were going to find evidence to prove your innocence," Temari said at last, her words firm as she crossed her arms, frowning. "Maybe you still have a home. Obviously someone still cares for you."

"And how long do you think that will last?" he snapped, turned to glare at her. "How long will it be until they decide I'm not worth it? They'll be too busy with missions and saving their village that Shikamaru won't matter anymore! In five years they won't come looking for me; in five years they'll only remember that I was the one who betrayed them and that it's their duty to kill me."

"Did you betray them, Shikamaru?" Temari took a step forward as if daring him to say yes.

"No," he growled. "I would never-"

"Then you have nothing to worry about," she continued. "They will prove your innocence, Shikamaru. And when they do, they'll come looking for you."

"How can you know?"

"Not everyone has friends like you do, Shikamaru," Temari said softly with a slight shake of her head. "And I thought you were supposed to be a genius."

"I still have nowhere to go." He frowned as Temari smirked. "I don't know if I like that look."

"Wait here," she said as she turned and walked the other way. "I have an idea!"

"Temari?" The kunoichi did not reply. "Temari!" Still she did not respond; now she was quite the distance away from him. "Troublesome woman," he growled. He looked down to the headband in his hands, to the canyon, and back again. With a sigh Shikamaru replaced the headband on his arm; he wasn't ready to leave Konoha behind.

Not yet

* * *

The sun had disappeared by the time Gaara came across Shikamaru. The disbanded ninja lay stretched on his back, staring up at the clear sky. Perhaps Suna did not have clouds, but the view of the stars was more than enough to make up for it.

"Temari tells me you do not wish to return to Konoha."

"Did she inform you of the fate that awaits me should I choose to do so?"

"Yes." There was a pause. Shikamaru sat up, idly brushing the dirt from his vest. "You can not stay here; you have no passport."

"Then I'll leave. But I am _not_ going back to Konoha."

"You can not stay here," the Kazekage continued, "unless you are a citizen of Suna." Shikamaru looked up at Gaara with a calculating expression.

"That will destroy the treaty," Shikamaru countered. This time he stood. "You will be accused of assisting the enemy of Konoha."

"If you become a citizen of Suna, you will be one of us; Konoha will be nothing but our country's ally to you and you to them."

Shikamaru stared down at the headband strapped to his arm. He would have to give up everything he'd ever known, tear himself away from the life he'd once had. But he would be granted the chance to start anew. Shikamaru Nara he may still be, but no long would he be a ninja of the leaf.

With a slow nod of his head he decided Shikamaru Nara, ninja of the sand, had a nice ring to it.

* * *

"You're kidding me."

There was nothing on Gaara's face to suggest that was, indeed, joking. Shikamaru winced, glancing back over his shoulder at the children milling about the yard.

"If you are to become a ninja of Suna, you must do so properly. Once you pass the genin exam, you will be given the title of chuunin as you have already passed the exam, regardless of what village you resided in."

"Suck it up, pineapple head," Temari snickered. "You haven't even heard about the manhood ceremony yet."

"What?"

"The people of Suna have a ritual that all children partake in so that they may pass into adulthood. Every citizen over the age of fifteen has been a part of it."

"You never said anything-"

"If you want to be one of us, you gotta act like us," Temari interrupted. "That means you have to be part of our culture. Look, we'll talk about that later; right now you've got to show a bunch of twelve year olds how it's done." Shikamaru opened his mouth to reply but was shoved through the door by Termari.

As the children spotted him, a good foot or two taller than most, he wondered if anyone had ever been as humiliated as he felt now. A ball collided with the side of his head and he began to foster serious doubt.

It would be something simple, he decided; for their test they'd merely had to produce a decent shadow clone. But then, there were already so many differences between Suna and Konoha that he wouldn't be surprised if they were asked to jump off the nearest cliff, sprout wings and fly.

He took up a chair near the back of the room, watching with a bored air as the ninja-in-training were called one by one into the next room. The room was stuffy and warm and he knew he wasn't the only one with sweat rolling down his face. It felt like hours before his name was called. When it was, he was the only one left in the room.

He rose from his chair and slowly walked to the door. His hand hovered over the gold knob as he stared down at his reflection. This was it; there was no turning back. After this 'test', he would be a ninja of the sand. Konoha would only be a memory, a past life. A dream. He swallowed; did he really want this? What about his friends waiting for him back home, supposedly pouring over books and evidence to prove his innocence? Was he ready to give up on them so soon?

Shikamaru twisted the knob and slipped inside.

* * *

Somehow he found himself back at the cliff. He leaned back on his outstretched arms, legs crossed as he stared out over the low valley. The stars twinkled around the full moon, casting an eerie glow down on Suna Village. Beside him lay two headbands; one styled with an hourglass, the other decorated by a swirled leaf. A long, thick groove ran through the leaf, the only reminder of what he once was. He had thought that by becoming a ninja of the sand he would find it easier to move on.

Now he was only more confused.

With a sigh he fell back, only to be greeted by Gaara towering over him.

"You're troubled." It was a statement more than a question. Shikamaru sighed as he stood up beside the Kazekage.

"Indecisive, more like," he muttered. "I thought passing that test would make things easier, but..."

"You are not sure if it is right to give up on your friends, but you are not so sure they have not given up on you," Gaara supplied.

"Yeah, that's about it," Shikamaru said. "Either way there's no going back. Become a citizen of Suna and even if they prove my innocent, I can't just go back to them. If I stay a nobody there's a chance I'll never be anything but _hunted_."

"I have witnessed your intellect; I believe you can make the smart decision."

"There's a difference between strategy and emotional conflicts."

"Not when your life is on the line. If you continue to belong to no one, you will be forced from this village without supplies. You won't last a day in our deserts."

A light breeze wrapped around them, rustling hair and clothes. Shikamaru closed his eyes in thought, attempting to concentrate, half hoping it might make him disappear. He wanted Konoha back so bad it hurt like a constant wrench on his heart. And yet he knew Gaara was right; if he did not accept Suna as his home, there would be no hope for anything.

He cursed his gift of an IQ.

"You told me there was a ceremony," Shikamaru began. He opened his eyes and turned back to Gaara. Perhaps he had imagined things, but he could have sworn there was the faintest flicker of a smile on the Kazekage's face. "What do I have to do?"

"You must learn to dance."

"You're kidding me."

"Nara, how long will it take before you learn that I do not joke?"


	6. Chapter Five: Disgrace

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.  
**A/N:** So, this chapter didn't turn out at all how I had hoped. I don't really like it. But, here it is; I'm excited for the next chapter. :3

**Chapter Five: Disgrace**

* * *

"Ow! Dammit, Shikamaru, that's the third time you've stepped on my foot!"

"Sorry," he muttered, glaring down at their feet. He made a mocking face and earned a smack upside the head.

"I saw that," Temari snapped. He muttered something about troublesome women and dancing. "You know, I'd have thought you were a little more... graceful."

"I was blessed with brains," Shikamaru said as they fell into a low dip of sorts. "Gracefulness didn't come with the package."

"But even Kankurou wasn't this bad."

"Kankurou can-"

Just what Kankurou could do, Temari would never know. Shikamaru stepped forward too soon, tripping Temari. She landed hard against the hard floor, Shikamaru toppling over to land on her. For a moment they were frozen in place, noses almost touching, eyes wide.

"Get off me!" Shikamaru snapped from his daze.

"I'm trying," he snapped as he scrambled to his feet. He held out a hand to help Temari up but the kunoichi was already standing.

"Watch where you're going next time."

"If your feet weren't so _big_, I wouldn't have to," Shikamaru retorted. They stood across from each other, eyes narrowed into dark glares. It wasn't the first time they'd had a spat, though Temari seemed particularly defensive.

"If you weren't such a klutz and could do this properly-" Temari cut herself off. With an impatient growl, she gathered up her fan and headed for the door. "I think that's enough for today," Temari huffed. "Practice, Shikamaru; the ceremony is next week and you still don't have it down."

"Yeah, yeah." At his airy wave, Temari excused herself, leaving Shikamaru alone. The door swung open soon afterward and he looked up, expecting Temari. Instead her brother appeared and Shikamaru sighed.

"Still don't have it?" Kankurou snickered. He had passed Temari on his way there; she was in a mood and he could easily assume why. "Most of us get it within the first few days. How long have you been practicing." Shikamaru turned red but answered.

"A week..." Shikamaru left the room as Kankurou doubled over with laughter. He was greeted by a blast of hot, humid Suna air. He had already accustomed to the extreme heat and frigid nights. Because there were no clouds, he had given up his cloud watching, favoring to wait until dusk to gaze upon the stars. Although they never changed, they were beautiful and mysterious in their own special way.

But he hadn't time for any sort of wishful thinking. Temari had been drilling him relentlessly on the dance he was to perform in order to become a citizen of Suna. Ordinarily it was done in the month of the child's birth date, though because he was not a child and his birthday wasn't for yet another five months, he would be taking part in August's ceremony.

The idea of dancing with teenagers at least four years younger than him was rather daunting. The ability to dance seemed to be a Suna trait, as anyone that he had met with Suna blood held the grace in dance that he seemed not to possess. Even Kankurou had been flawless in his own demonstration.

With a sigh he put his hands into his pockets, willing away the familiar stares that fell upon him as he strolled down the street. It seemed to uncommon for there to be strangers in Suna and the fact that he had been around for nearly a month did not settle the villagers' suspicions. Temari had assured him their attitude would change once he became one of them.

Temari had also told him the dance was easy to learn.

She, out of all the others willing to speak with him, seemed the most upset in his failure. Every step out of place, even when he did not step on a foot, only added to her mounting frustration. Perhaps she saw it as failure as a teacher. He certainly did not; but then, _he_ was the problem, wasn't he?

Shikamaru found himself before the cliff once more. It seemed to have become his place to relax and mull things over. Now, however, there was no need to stop and think. He already knew what needed to happen. He turned and made his way back to the school building, where Temari had been teaching him to dance.

"Kankurou!" The puppet master paused, half-way through the door.

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow in mild interest as Shikamaru ran up to him.

"Teach me to dance."

* * *

Shikamaru slouched in his chair, flexing his tired toes in his sandals. Kankurou stood nearby, a satisfied smirk twitching at his lips. Three days later and the former leaf ninja had finally completed the dance without a single mistake. They had gone through it twice more before Kankurou was the one to step on Shikamaru's foot and they decided to take a break.

"Why is Temari making such a big deal about this dance?" Blunt and to the point, Shikamaru lifted his lazy gaze to stare up at Kankurou.

"It's not just a dance," Kankurou said defensively. "It's how you pass into adulthood-"

"I know it's important, but she seems... bitter," he finished lamely. "Did something happen?"

"I-" Kankurou shook his head. "It's not my place to tell. Anyway, I should get going; Gaara's got me on patrol again. Later." The puppet master sauntered from the building and left Shikamaru to himself. The tired ninja shut his eyes, ready for a decent nap. His rest was interrupted, however, as the door swung open. He cracked open an eye and was greeted by the sight of Temari.

"Kankurou says you've got it down."

"Kankurou hasn't lied yet." He opened both eyes and peered up at her with an inspecting look. "Why do you care so much?"

"What?"

"The dance. You seem angry about something."

"Other than that you've stepped on my foot ten times since we began?" His eyes narrowed and Temari sighed. "It's... nothing, really."

"Whatever, then." If she wasn't going to tell him, he wasn't going to bother; he had better things to do. Like sleeping.

"Look, if you have to know, I had to dance alone." She folded her arms across her chest and looked away. Shikamaru noted that she looked empty without her fan strapped across her back.

"So?"

"_So?_" Shikamaru knew he'd said the wrong thing. "You don't know anything about this village, do you?" Temari's hands curled into fists and he decided it was a good thing her fan wasn't around. "For a young woman to dance alone is-is... It's a disgrace, that's what it is! To her family and her people! To most it means that she isn't good enough!" Shikamaru didn't seem to be moved.

"And for a young man? What if I dance alone?"

"That's entirely different," she hissed. "If you dance alone you'll just be a part of the ceremony; a lot of boys do it alone."

"In other words this dance is just another way you have to prove yourself," Shikamaru concluded. "Why did you dance alone?" Temari looked away so he could not see her face.

"No one would dance with me," she said quietly. "Gaara was... Gaara; Kankurou was my brother, he didn't count. I was a tom boy, already a disgrace to the kunoichi name." Shikamaru's face hardened.

"I've met plenty of tom boys," he retorted. "And none of them are a disgrace. Are you sure people think that, Temari, or is it just you?"

"Like I said, _you know nothing_," she heatedly replied. "Suna is different from Konoha."

"Is there a way to redeem yourself?"

"I could dance again, I suppose, but that wouldn't completely-"

"Dance with me."

"What?"

"Dance. With. Me. If you don't want to, whatever, but I thought since this was such a big deal and all..." Temari turned to him. Her face was blank but her eyes twinkled with a spark he hadn't seen since her last visit to Konoha.

"I'll dance with you." This time she grinned; his face remained passive as he remained in his seat. As she left the building with a cheery saunter, he shifted into a comfortable napping position. With a slight smile on his face. Shikamaru drifted off into dreamland.


	7. Chapter Six: Dance of the Wind

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own it. Dur.  
**A/N:** The long awaited dance! Whoo. I _really_ like this chapter. Enjoy! Thanks for all the reviws. :3

**Chapter Six: Dance of the Wind**

* * *

The cold night air seemed to seep into his bones as the residents of Suna gathered at the center of the village. Shikamaru picked uncomfortably at his black shirt, the material clinging uncomfortably to his skin. Temari had assured him that this was the proper dress but the former leaf ninja hadn't been so sure. Seeing now that the young ninja about to dance were similarly clad, he found himself not nearly as self-conscious as he had been before. 

"So you didn't chicken out after all!"

Shikamaru turned, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as Kankurou neared. His own garb consisted of what he normally wore (Shikamaru felt a twang of jealous), his puppets mysteriously absent.

"Didn't even have to pry me out of bed," came the witty retort. Shikamaru smirked as Kankurou scowled. "Temari told me all about your own dance."

"Yeah, yeah," Kankurou said bitterly. "You better not screw this up; Temari's excited for this." _Understatement of the Year award goes to Kankurou!_ Shikamaru sighed.

"I don't _want_ to screw this up," he replied. Kankurou grinned, his face twisting into a look Shikamaru had thought only Temari could summon; they were definitely siblings.

"Be careful," he said as he walked away, hands shoved innocently into his pockets. "The _entire village_ is going to be watching; one wrong move and everyone will know. Good luck."

"Gee, I feel better..."

Shikamaru followed the puppet master down the street, blending in with the noisy crowd. Like a river current they pulled him toward the center of the village. He couldn't have escaped even if he'd tried.

The center of the village rested around a large fountain. Water shot into the air in several places, landing back into elevated pools of water, both features placed at various heights. The fountain was one of the few natural water sources the village had and was considered to be a sacred place to many of Suna's people. Walls twenty feet high rose about the town square (an odd name, Shikamaru mused, as it was really more of a circle); he could only wonder of their purpose. The walls themselves were decorated with bright murals depicting both Suna's peaceful village life and the ruthless warriors their ninja became when needed. Temari had told him that Suna despised bloodshed; their previous Kazekage (and, coincidentally her father) had been one of the few to disagree with such a belief.

For the ceremony the square had been donned with elaborate decorations. Lights perched on top of the walls and trimmed the edges of the fountain. A great number of torches stood lit around and away from the fountain; it was between the flickering flame and the water that the participants would dance. Tables were set toward the back of the square, lined with every food imaginable for the feast after the dance. Toward the front of the square and facing in sat a group of villagers. Five were empty handed, three clutched worn guitars; two more sat behind single drums and the last held what looked to be a pair of sticks.

Shikamaru tore his eyes away, taking his place beside the other dancers of the night. The torches cast shadows against the walls. They were faint but he could pick out his own shadow against the throng of the others; it stood out darker than the rest. This gave him comfort and he turned away with a soft smile; nothing could go wrong.

"You ready?"

Temari's voice was quiet in his ear. He turned his head to the right and did a double take. Her bright hair was free of its usual pig tails, curled into a tight bun high on her head; a few loose strands fell before her teal eyes. Abandoned were her ninja garb. Instead she adorned black slacks that were loose and fell to her ankles, feet dressed in tan sandals. Her shirt was the same black as her pants had baggy, net-like sleeves that fell to her palms; the shirt clung to her chest and was cut short enough to show her slim stomach. A purple choker rested at her neck along with her headband; Shikamaru was reminded just how naked he felt without his own, having left them both in his apartment.

"Aren't you cold?" he asked, lifting a brow.

"No compliments? Not even a 'you look lovely, Temari'?" She mockingly frowned at her light teasing and gently tapped him on the arm. "Now I won't tell you how handsome you look." He glanced at his own loose slacks and shirt, both of which were black, a doubtful look crossing his face.

"You just did."

"Really, when they start selling a sense of humor in a box, I'm taking you shopping." Shikamaru scowled and crossed his arms. Temari rolled her eyes. "C'mon, cry baby, lighten up; this is a _fun_ celebration. You're supposed to be happy!"

"How am I supposed to do that if you keep making fun of me?"

"Suck it up." She opened her mouth to say more, but the crowd fell silent as Gaara stepped forward at the back of the square. All eyes were on him.

"People of Suna." His voice was quiet but demanding; Shikamaru could only stare at him, mesmerized by his melodic voice like everyone else. "Today we gather in celebration, to greet our fellow ninja as they shed their coats of childhood and step into the mold that will make them adults. Among us we also have a stranger. He is already an adult; why should he dance? This man has traveled far to reach Suna. He has embraced our culture and way of life. Today, he does not dance to become a man as he already is a man; instead, today he dances to find a home. Today he dances so that he may be with the dear friends he has made in his short time here. Tomorrow no longer will he be ninja of the leaf. When the sun rises there will be no strangers among us. No matter what you have heard, tomorrow there will be another ninja of the sand. He will walk with us, work with us; he will be us. For we are Suna, and we are one."

A roar rippled across the crowd as everyone cheered for the Kazekage. Shikamaru felt his face burn and turned away as Temari looked at him. Soon the roar fell to a soft murmur. At the front of the square, the guitars slowly drifted into the tune each of the dancers had learned to dance to. Gaara stepped forward, alone. For a moment Shikamaru thought he would command the dancers to begin. Instead he began to dance. His gourd was oddly absent from his back as he was dressed in clothes similar to Shikamaru's own. Yet there was still sand, swirling about him. The dance was made for two and yet Gaara performed in such a way that it could have been for one. The sand drifted between his arms and legs; at times there seemed to be a ghost of a partner dancing with Gaara.

One by one the other dancing couples emerged into the ring of torches, each twisting and turning like shadows of one another, their moves identical and precise. Shikamaru felt numb; how could he do that? Frozen, he barely felt Temari's tug.

"Shikamaru," she whispered, "we need to go!"

He found himself near the fountain, Temari's hands in his. Shikamaru closed his eyes, trying to recall his dance lessons. Music swelled into his ears and he thought they might burst. He could feel Temari growing impatient, her fingers twitching in his own. The smell of food was overwhelming, the heat from the torches more intense than the sun.

His eyes opened and he knew what to do.

He led Temari away from the fountain, his steps moving to the beat of the drums. Temari follow, a slight smile twitching at her lips as they moved around the fountain. Their steps and movements flowed like water as they danced, moving in and away from each other. Shikamaru gave Temari a twirl, pulling her close before pushing her away again. He spun, taking hold of her waist and pulling her into a low dip. As they straightened they pulled away, twisting and turning to the guitar and drums; low clicks lurked beneath the pounding beat that controlled their pushes and pulls toward one another.

It seemed to end just as soon as it had begun, yet Shikamaru knew they had been dancing for some time; the torches, once taller than himself, were merely half his height. He panted, eyes closed as he rested. He was still in the finishing pose with Temari. Covered in sweat they stood close, faces pressed together as they looked off to the same side. Their skin was sticky and their clothes were drenched with sweat. Shikamaru's arm held Temari snugly against him, hers curled around his neck. Their other arms were held out and up in the same direction they faced. Wild and scattered applause ran through their audience. He cracked open an eye and noticed many of them seemed to have danced themselves.

"Shikamaru," Temari croaked, her throat parched and lips dry. "You can let go of me now." Shikamaru opened his other eye, slowly releasing Temari and stepping away. He managed a tired grin as the two slowly made their way toward the food tables.

"That was something," he said quietly, arms folded behind his head.

"Well, you're a man now if you weren't before," Temari teased. "... You're also one of us." Shikamaru looked away, arms falling back to his sides. "That is, if you want to be."

"I don't see any reason," he began, glancing toward her. She was the one to look away. "Why I shouldn't be." Temari smiled. Shikamaru yawned as he looked around, watching the citizens of Suna talk and laugh. They seemed so at peace with one another. With a grin he grabbed up a roll, trailing behind Temari with lack of anything better to do. It felt so good to rest after their long dance.

It felt good, Shikamaru told himself, to be home.


	8. Chapter Seven: Goodbye

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.  
**A/N:** I think this is a wonderful chapter; I love the beginning and the end the most. This chapter holds details that are very important to the plot later on, particularly the last half. I hope you enjoy and thanks for all the reviews! I do realize I just updated yesterday, but who's complaining? The weekend is over, though, so don't expect uber-quick updates for a while! The OC is just there to bug Shika and the last half of this chapter was inspired by LOTR; if you can guess how, kudos to you. Now, on with the chapter.  
**Edit:** I made a small note at the bottom concerning the end of this chapter. Also, I now have a 'soundtrack' of sorts listed in my profile for this fanfic! Go check it out.

**Chapter Seven: Goodbye**

* * *

The world was bathed in the eerie grey of early dawn as he stood at the cliff. He still adorned his Konoha clothes but no longer was he one of them. Now he was a ninja of the sand, a citizen of Suna. When he walked the bustling streets there would be none to stare; some would greet him as a brother, others ignore him all the same. But he would not be different and that was what mattered most.

"There will be changes you must make." Gaara looked to the ninja standing a few feet away. "You must be willing to make them."

He wore a headband on his upper arm, an hourglass lightly etched into the plate of metal. In his hands rested another headband, this one symbolized with a leaf. A long gash ran through the metal, marking his banishment from Konoha. It was the only reminder, other than his plaguing thoughts and dreams, of the past he had left behind just a short time ago.

"Suna does not value laziness, nor will we tolerate it. The people of Suna work for what they earn and we expect you to do the same."

Yet it seemed nearly an eternity ago that he had fled his childhood home. Every day he wondered if his friends had forgotten him. They had called them the Rookie Nine; now their numbers were down to seven. He mused bitterly over their losses. Perhaps their emotional training would come in handy after all.

"There are no clouds for you to watch here, Nara. We do not dwell on foolish dreams. Can you handle facing reality every day, or is that too much for you?"

His grip on his headband tightened, knuckles white. A second hand flew to the pouch on his leg. He removed a single kunai, its blade as sharp as it could be. It would help him make the transition smoother; help him leave Konoha behind. He could not belong to two villages and Suna was the one he had chosen. Waiting, he'd decided, was a waste of everyone's time.

"Still, remember that you are one of us now. We will protect you and in turn you shall defend us. That is the way of Suna and now it is you obligation as a ninja of the sand." There was a pause. "Can you make these changes, Nara Shikamaru?"

With one smooth, swift movement, he brought the kunai up and cut through the band that held up his hair. It fluttered to the ground, his shaggy hair falling to stick out in odd directions. He could not recall the last time he'd worn his hair down. Shaking his head to settle his hair, he snatched the hair tie up from the ground. With the kunai safely secured between his teeth, he tied the hair band to his Konoha headband; both had never before been replaced and seemed to represent his old life more than the clothes on his back.

Once more he lifted the kunai into the air. With a yell of anger and misery he brought the weapon down, pushing it deep into the headband until the sharp end stuck out the other side. He lifted his gaze to the valley below and with all the force he could muster he tossed the kunai and headband over the cliff. It fell, faster and faster, and fell from view. He stood there a moment longer, feeling empty and alone. The faint sounds of a waking village met his ears and the feelings vanished to be replaced by confidence and love.

"Goodbye, Konoha," he whispered and turned toward the village.

"I will, Kazekage," Shikamaru said, "I promise you I can change."

* * *

The first thing Temari noticed was his hair. No longer was the name 'Pineapple Head' valid; it hung in a somewhat long, shaggy cut that stuck out at an odd angle here and there. It was no wonder that he had chosen to constantly keep it up. The second thing she noticed was the headband on his arm. It proudly displayed the symbol of Suna; the thought made her smile.

"Morning, Shikamaru," she said, swinging from her perch on the fence. "Ready to work?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," he said with a grim smile. He acted as if hard work was going to be the death of him.

"Cheer up; work hasn't killed anyone... yet." He sighed and proceeded to trail beside her down the road, hands shoved into his pockets.

"What kind of work do you usually do?"

"Paperwork with Gaara, mostly," Temari replied. "But I'm sure you know all about that. In the mornings I help Amaya-san unload the produce imports. We'll start there for now; I'm sure she'd appreciate a strong young man to help out." She snickered at this and Shikamaru felt a familiar sinking sensation in his stomach; such a feeling had never been wrong before.

"Maybe I should skip to the paperwork," he began. Temari, however, would hear nothing of it. She grabbed his arm and led him around the corner, stopping before a long and wide stall that stretched the width of two buildings.

"Amaya-san!" Temari called. A middle-aged woman stepped out from a door, a smile on her face as she spotted her visitors.

"Temari, good morning!" Amaya called as she neared the odd pair. "And who's this handsome devil?" Shikamaru let out a sigh as Temari introduced him. "Oh, so you're the young man who danced last night? It was lovely."

"Er... thanks... I think."

"Come, now; there's food to unload! Temari, show him where it goes, will you?"

By the time civilians came straggling down the street with pockets of money, Shikamaru and Temari had easily filled the stall with the imported food. He had recognized plenty of it coming from Konoha and even knew many of the ninja that had personally grown the fruit and vegetables. But thinking of Konoha had been a bad idea; even as they trudged out of the Kazekage's building as dusk fell on Suna, he felt a pang of homesickness.

Shikamaru stopped, hands in his pockets. He lifted his eyes, peering up at the buildings in confusion.

"Temari, this isn't the way to-"

"I know," she interrupted, still walking. "I want to show you something." Shikamaru jogged after her, slowing to her pace as he caught up.

"What is it?"

"Just a little insurance; I want to make sure you don't decide to skip out on us." He frowned; that comment had stung. She must have realized this as she quickly continued. "I don't think you will, but... Oh, just come on. You'll love it." She grabbed his arm and set off at a run. Before long buildings rushed by until they faded from sight. Temari kept running; he didn't like not knowing where she was taking him. At last, when it felt as if they had run for hours, they came to a stop.

Night had fallen during their run, the sky above cloudless and shimmering with silver stars. Shikamaru lifted his head in habit, staring up at the sky until he felt eyes on him. Temari watched him was an expectant gaze.

"Well?" she prompted. Shikamaru frowned and took a moment to look around. As he became aware of his surroundings, a loud roar met his ears. The volume changed frequently, becoming louder until it reached its peak and fell quiet, only to repeat the process.

"What _is_ that?" Temari only pointed. Shikamaru turned; the sight that met him caught his breath.

He had heard stories of the ocean, seen pictures in books, but never had he witnessed it first hand. The water crashed against the hills of rocks the were clustered to their right, and to the giant boulders farther out at sea. The grass they stood on was brittle and thin, giving way to sand a few feet away. For once Shikamaru was dumbstruck and Temari was enjoying every minute of it.

"Come on!" She pulled on his arm again, this time leading him to the sand. They removed their sandals and tossed them back onto the grass. Shikamaru wiggled his toes, the sand cool against his skin. Temari splashed into the water and Shikamaru hesitantly stuck in a foot. The water was cold and stung as it hit a small cut on his ankle. Still, it was pleasant and calm and he enjoyed the serenity.

"Why is this supposed to guarantee my stay?" Shikamaru asked as they walked down the beach. He shivered as a fresh wave tackled their legs.

"When Suna was first built a man said that those who lay eyes upon the sea may never look away; that those who live beside it are doomed to live here forever." She took a deep breath, spinning around on the spot. "It's an old wive's tale, but it doesn't hurt to try. Maybe someday you'll be tempted to leave and the sea will bring you back."

"Why would I leave?" They stopped walking, both facing the open ocean.

"I wasn't lying to comfort you when I said your friends would prove your innocence. When they do, you might... go back..." Shikamaru placed a hand on her shoulder, tearing his eyes away from the horizon to look at her.

"This is my home now, Temari," he said quietly. His hand fell and he looked away. "Nothing... _No one_ can change that." He had to swallow; not even the ocean could wash away the homesickness he felt now.

"If you're sure," Temari whispered. She began to walk back up shore toward their shoes. Shikamaru slowly followed after. As she pulled on her sandals, Shikamaru took one last look at the ocean. Perhaps Temari was right; a day could come when he would be sorely tempted to leave Suna. But as he watched his longing for Konoha seemed to fade away with the tide, ebbing in and out until it had vanished all together.

"Come on, Shikamaru!" Temari stood several feet away, hands on her hips as she waited impatiently for him to gather his sandals. Shikamaru obliged and soon they were walking back toward the village, to tired and calm to run as they had on the way there. As they walked, they passed a monument he had missed before. It was nothing special, simply a tan stone block surrounded by a small fence in the weed-like grass. Shikamaru paused and quickly read the inscription. He was not sure if it was his heart or the waves that pounded in his ears as his blood turned cold and his face ran pale.

The sea is singing; it calls me,  
White gulls crow from the sky,  
I long so much to be free  
From shackles and able to fly.  
Like the wind and sky so blue,  
The fire is calling me home.  
But to which do I flee to?  
Never have I felt so alone.  
My heart is shattered and numb,  
Torn between two lands,  
It is my shadows they shrink from,  
Those of the leaf and the sand.

**Note:** This poem is the inscription on the monument. 


	9. Chapter Eight: Out of Control

**Disclaimer:** I don't own, you don't sue.  
**A/N:** So. Yeah. This chapter is kind of weird. BUT it's important. I suggest you pay a lot of attention to the time of day when we reach the second half with Shikamaru, as that will be fairly important. Actually, _everything_ mentioned in this chapter is important. Enjoy.

For those of you that missed it, the poem at the end of the last chapter was the inscription on the monument, NOT in Shika's head. So yeah, that was kind of creepy. It was supposed to be, and it's important to the plot. Also, I have a soundtrack of sorts on my profile now, so if you're interested in the music I listen to or was inspired by for writing this particular fic, check it out.

* * *

The tap of pen against desk was slow and rhythmic, the only order in an otherwise chaotic mess she called her office. Stacks of paper poured over the desk and onto the floor, the bookshelves full of books and notebooks shoved in at all angles imaginable. There had once been another chair in the room, though she was not sure where (or how) it disappeared. Yet for all its sloppiness, the room was home and Ino wouldn't have it any other way.

She slapped the pen down on her desk, turning her chair to the open window. The window faced the main street of Konoha. Ino enjoyed watching people rush to and fro, bustling by with errands and jobs. On occasion she spotted one of her friends, though none of them ever lingered to shout a hello; they were busy, she knew, not only with their own lives and business but the task each of the Rookie Nine and Team Gai had taken on for the past three months.

They had to prove Shikamaru was innocent.

The facts were overwhelming and, ultimately, didn't do much for his side of the story. Whomever the ninja reporting had been, they had been thorough and the paperwork clearly said it was Shikamaru that had exchanged information with the foreign ninja. But that wasn't possible; it was _Shikamaru_. Even if he had been working against Konoha, which in itself was completely absurd, he'd be too lazy to ever pass on information. Aside from that, Shikamaru was a genius; he was more than capable of weighing out the consequences. He would know that a life of crime would never pay.

And yet even Chouji had to admit Shikamaru had been acting quite odd at the time - strange even for him. Even though there had been plenty of clouds in the sky, not once in that week could she recall him lazing about in his favorite spots, even when there was no one to occupy them. He had not uttered there word 'troublesome' once, even in formality, his friendly persona masked behind an expression bland even for him. Now that she thought about it, she could not remember spending much time with him the week the reports said he'd been criminally active; he hadn't even responded to the assassination attempt on Tsunade. But there was no way Shikamaru had gone from genius to criminal mastermind.

At least, that's what Ino chose to believe.

Despite her loyalty and trust in her friend, she could not deny there was a sliver of doubt that had crept into her mind. With each day filled of fruitless attempts to prove his innocence gone by, the sliver grew; now it was hard to ignore and seemed to have migrated to her stomach, twisting away. She grew sick with the idea he had betrayed them all. Fooled them all. At the trial she would have sworn that there was a glimmer of fear in his dark eyes, a hint of sadness; he had seemed lost.

Perhaps he really had fooled them all.

But then, she thought with a grim smile, that had always been like him. He was a mastermind of trickery, even when he had not intended to be. Shikamaru had been the one to fall asleep in class, not because he was a rebel, but because he was bored; he had stored away in his brain most of what they learned years before. He was the genius; the one who, had he picked up a pencil, could have left them all behind in the dust. Had he continued to fight with the spirit their friends possessed, he could have become much more than the first of them to be chuunin. So much potential was hidden inside him, yet even she and Chouji hadn't known much of it until it was far too late.

Maybe the enemy had spotted it first. Had there been spies lurking with them all along? Was there someone that had caught him for what he was and slowly lured him into the darkness? Shikamaru had once told her he felt most at home in the night; had the enemy been the shadows he spoke of? Chouji explained their Sasuke rescue mission in great detail many times, including his own battle. He never failed to leave out that Shikamaru had tricked several of them into believing he really had given up.

Yet Shikamaru had also been the one to lead that mission. He had been the one who, despite disliking Sasuke, had ventured to bring him back. The one who had placed his own life on the line to save one of his own. Sasuke had chosen to go; their mission had been pointless. Ino hoped against hope Shikamaru wasn't following example. He never had before; why bother now?

A flash of pink caught her eye, racing down the street below. Ino frowned, leaning forward in her chair. She recognized the blob as Sakura, but why was she running? Was there some sort of attack? She briefly wondered if Shikamaru was heading the assault before leaping to her feet, turning to dash down the stairs and meet Sakura half-way.

Her childhood friend and enemy was out of breath when she reached Ino. The latter allowed her to lean against the wall a moment. Her eyes strayed to the folder Sakura held in her hands; obviously this wasn't an attack.

"I've found it!" Sakura exclaimed once her breathing had calmed. "I can prove Shikamaru is innocent!" Ino opened her mouth to speak, but instead resembled a fish out of water. "He couldn't have possibly been where the reports said he was!"

"Sakura," Ino began shakily, "we've been over this. He wasn't with any of us; we don't know _where_ he was!"

"Tsunade!"

"_What?_ Sakura, you aren't making sense!"

"_He was with Tsunade!_" Sakura sounded almost giddy. "And those assassination attempts? He was in a hospital bed, safe and sound!"

"How-Why-"

"Tsunade was under oath not to speak a word," Sakura explained. "Shikamaru made her swear to it. Apparently there was something wrong with him he didn't want any of us to know."

"But we hadn't been on any missions, how could-"

"The shadows, Ino," Sakura said quietly, holding out the manilla folder. "There was something wrong with the shadows."

* * *

A low growl escaped his throat. For the fifth time he rand through the hand signs, muttering the sequence under his breath to be sure he had not made a mistake. His chakra was running low; he hadn't managed to maintain control of his jutsu for more than a minute and yet he was already tiring.

"Not again," he muttered, gritting his teeth together. The shadow before him wavered, trembling at the edges, before it collapsed altogether, quickly flowing back to its original shape. Sinking to the ground, he stared out at the valley below, mind reeling.

With his jutsu, he was able to control the shadows to a reasonable extent. He could manipulate their shape, catch others in a net of involuntary movement and even made the shadows solid to perform mundane tasks and set diversions. Yet months ago, even before his arrest, the shadows seemed to develop a will of their own, fighting against his control. Before long he could not capture others within his jutsu.

He had gone to Tsunade for help knowing that, if anyone was capable of helping him, it would be her. Shikamaru had her swear to secrecy; contrary to popular belief, there were some things he liked to stay behind closed doors. But it was pointless; even she could not identify the problem and Shikamaru was back where he began. To his surprise, his control seemed to return. It was a gradual improvement but by the time ANBU stole him away he could do everything he had been able to do before his sudden failure.

Now it was like being at the academy all over again.

As he sat he tried to turn his mind to other things. He briefly paused on Temari and her brothers, his new job of assigning missions to the rookie ninja of Suna. These were quick to fall to the back of his mind, however, as he recalled his trip to the beach. The inscription he'd read on the monument had disturbed him; it was as if it had been written with him in mind. But who else had been banished from Konoha as he had and been forced to live in Suna? No one, that was who.

But that seemed to be the very problem.

The sky was overcast and as the night progressed he was unable to stargaze as he'd have liked to. In attempt to clear his mind, he stood, brushed himself off and started on a slow saunter. He trudged by a clump of bushes, his interest in them holding for merely a fraction of a second before his eyes drifted along to something else. It was just as he was coming to the conclusion that there was nothing even remotely interesting about a dry, barren desert when he eyes locked onto a very large rock.

As he neared, Shikamaru quickly realized that the rock wasn't a rock at all. It was a small box with walls and a roof made of stone, the 'floor' consisting of the dirt it rested on. There seemed to be no way in, the stone cut to perfection so that there were no cracks. It was built this way to keep things out or to keep something in.

A large deer was carved into one of the stone walls. He reached up a hand and brushed along it, eyes wide with curiosity and disbelief. Who had made this structure and why? He searched but could find no clues as to what its purpose was. It was such an oddity he was sure Temari would have mentioned it had she known it existed. But then, how could anyone living in Suna _not_ know it was there?

Shikamaru ran a hand along the deer, his fingers lingering on it a moment before he turned and made his way back to the village. He was determined to ask Temari of the stone structure; there were so many questions in Suna and so very little answers. The ninja paused once and turned to look back at the structure. Yet when he looked it was gone; in its place was nothing but air and sand.

He continued to the village and did not look back.


	10. Chapter Nine: Remembering

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. Still.  
**A/N:** Short, I know, but I had to end it here to make way for the next chapter. Enjoy! Thank you for all the reviews!

**Chapter Nine: Remembering**

* * *

Shikamaru watched the newest team of three march off with their sensei to begin their first mission. While his eyes followed the exaggerated movements of a particularly enthusiastic genin, his mind lay elsewhere. 

He'd had another dream about _him_ last night and now _he_ wouldn't go away.

He leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. Ever since he'd begun his job at the mission outpost, he'd had little time to sit and think on his own accord. He was either busy with the job itself or too tired afterward to form a coherent thought before he drifted off to sleep. Temari said it was good for him; Shikamaru disagreed. Having little time to think of Konoha only made the heartache that much stronger in the rare moment he did have time to remember.

A yawn escaped his lips as he stretched his arms above his head. His mind swelled from one topic to the next; first he dwelled on Konoha itself, then his parents. Slowly he thought of Sasuke and their mission to 'rescue' him; this left behind a bitter taste, much like drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth, and so he thought on Ino and Chouji, who had a way of making him smile even in the darkest of times. Then he remembered Asuma and nearly fell out of his chair.

"Watch it, newbie," Kankurou grunted as he caught the back of Shikamaru's chair and stopped him from falling over.

"Can I help you?" Shikamaru asked as he righted his chair.

"Temari wants you to stop by the office for lunch," the puppet master replied. He started to walk away when he paused and looked back at Shikamaru. "You'd better be careful; if she doesn't hurt you, Gaara and I will."

"What are- Hey, I'm not going to try anything," Shikamaru protested. "There's a reason they call me a genius."

"You saying Temari isn't good enough?" Kankurou prodded Shikamaru's chest; the latter scowled.

"I didn't say that."

"Then what did you-"

"Excuse me." Both men froze, turning to see who had spoken. Temari stood in the doorway of the building, arms folded across her chest. Kankurou released the front of Shikamaru's vest and Shikamaru let go of his hold on Kankuro's wrist. "Hope I'm not interrupting something important."

"No-"

"We weren't doing-"

"Good." Her eyes narrowed. "Hey, crybaby, come on; the food's getting cold." She turned and marched down the stairs. After a pause and a fleeting glance at Kankurou, Shikamaru followed, muttering about his new nickname; he'd preferred pineapple head. He quickly caught up with Temari and blew a wisp of hair from his eyes with a sigh.

"There some special occasion I forgot or something?" Shikamaru asked as they stepped inside the Kazekage's building.

"No," Temari replied. "What, a girl can't have lunch with her friends anymore?"

"I guess not. But you're not usually so..."

"Generous?" Temari grinned. "Hey, you weren't one of us then, were you?" Her grin faded. "Besides, it's not like I've ever been the best at making friends, anyway."

"Hey, I didn't mean-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know; spare me the lecture and dig in."

They arrived in her office. On the desk lay an assortment of food; Shikamaru could almost picture Chouji drooling. The thought reminded him yet again of Asuma and he fell silent, sitting across from Temari and slowly starting his meal. Several slow minutes passed, in which they ate and Shikamaru avoided all contact. At last it was too much to bear.

"Shikamaru, are you all right?" Temari asked, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"I'm fine," Shikamaru replied quietly. He sighed. "I can't work tomorrow."

"W-What? Why? You should have requested the time off weeks ago!"

"I know, I got distracted and- look, I just need the next few days off, all right?"

"Shikamaru, you'll be fired if you take it off. You can't afford to lose your job!"

"I don't have a choice."

"What is so important that you'd risk everything you've done?"

"... Tomorrow is the day Asuma died," Shikamaru said at last. He stared at the floor. "Three years ago tomorrow we was killed." Temari opened her mouth to speak, but no sound would come out. "Chouji, Ino and I always go back every year and spend a few hours... I have to at least visit the monument. I can't just pretend it never happened. The last few days I haven't had time to think of Konoha, I - I forgot he was dead."

"No," Temari managed at last. "No! You can't go back! Not only will you lose your job, Shikamaru they'll kill you! You can't go back!"

"And what do you care!" Shikamaru yelled. He stood. "What does anyone here care? You think I don't notice! They all think I'm nothing but Konoha trash! If I die they'll be glad I'm gone!"

"But I _won't_!" She wiped at her eyes as Shikamaru looked away, glaring at the wall. "If you die- Shikamaru, if _you die_-"

"You'll what?" he hissed. "Temari, this is something I have to do. They won't see me; I'll visit the monument at night. No one will know I was there."

"For God's sake, Shikamaru, he wasn't your father!"

"At least he would have believed I was innocent!"

"So does your real father!"

"My _father_ wanted to kill me, Temari! Does that sound like he believed I was innocent? I was nothing but a disgrace; he _wanted_ me gone!" His fist collided with the tabletop, eyes squeezed shut to prevent his sudden onslaught of tears from showing. There was a long silence; Shikamaru was not sure what Temari did, but the next time she spoke she was sitting behind her desk.

"... If you have to go, I won't stop you," she said at last, her voice no more than a whisper. "But I can't help you with your job or getting back to Konoha. You'll have to take that up with Gaara." He heard papers being shuffled and a pen as she began to write. "Please leave, Shikamaru; I have work to do."

Shikamaru marched from her office without another word. Once outside he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and taking several deep breaths. As soon as he calmed, he moved away from the wall, heading down the hallway toward Gaara's office. He was going to return to Konoha, but he did not intend to die.

He would need a job when he returned.

* * *

His chuunin vest lay discarded on the bed behind him. He faced the mirror hanging on the wall, glaring at his reflection with the intensity of a staring match. His long-sleeved shirt and pants were black, his hair unruly atop his head. This could almost be considered a stealth mission; he'd need all the cover he could get. Gaara had given him five days; four would consist of high-speed traveling. 

He could not afford to be caught.

Shikamaru fingered the chakra blades hidden in his pockets. He hoped against hope that he would not be forced to use them, especially against someone he knew, but if he was caught there would be no choice.

As he neared the gates of Suna, he stared back at the city that had become him home. What before had seemed such a foreboding place now held a warm atmosphere. There were many that despised him and many more still that respected him and gave him a home.

It was not until Suna had disappeared from view that he dared to look back. He was surrounded by the wilderness, a mix of desert and forest; the landscape was torn between forest and desert and Shikamaru felt as if his heart had been torn from his chest and spread out for the world to see.


	11. Chapter Ten: Reflection

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.  
**A/N:** Yay. The long awaited (not really) chapter ten! This chapter didn't work out the way I had wanted it to, but the events that need to happen, happen. Enjoy!

**Chapter Ten: Reflection**

* * *

Shikamaru was generally a very lazy person, but when he managed to rouse enough motivation to get up and moving, he was like any other adrenalin junkie. He loved the fast thrills and dangers a mission brought along, the spurt of energy after dodging a particularly fierce attack. The moments that brought the sensation of being invincible (though he always kept in mind he was not) were fantastic.

Sneaking into Konoha with his very life on the line was one of those moments.

There were guards posted along the perimeter of the village to keep away unwanted visitors. Now he was one of those people and the guard would have no trouble killing him. But Shikamaru was also aware of the positions of the guard, having served with them a time or two himself; he knew their rotations and when the best possible time to sneak into the village would be. Obviously they hadn't considered him much of a threat if they hadn't bothered to alter their first line of defense.

He made a mental note to thank Tsunade later.

He pressed himself against the wall as two ninja landed on the wall above him, right on time. They hovered there a moment, scanning the area, before moving on. Now was his chance. Shikamaru leapt up on top of the wall before dashing forward before the next team of two could come along and spot him. He did not stop until he had reached a dark alley, out of the way and, more importantly, out of sight.

Buildings loomed up on either side of him, obscured by the night. It was surreal that he could recall the exact way the streets twisted and turned from here, how he could have told anyone how to get to any point of the village. He could imagine so clearly in his mind the village at night, how the faces of past and present Hokages peered down upon them all.

Shikamaru shot from the alley and into the streets, making a beeline for the monument. He had no time to dilly-dally; once he paid his respects, it was back on the road if he was going to make it back to Suna in time. But as he passed one household, he could not help but stop to stare.

He avoided the light flooding the grass and made his way toward the open window, ducking low so he would not be seen by anyone that happened to glance outside. Within the building he could see Sakura, curled up in a chair, a stack of papers held in her hands. Her brows were furrowed in concentration, a frown twitching at her lips. Backing a way from the window he adorned his own sour expression. It hadn't occurred to him that his friends would still have lives; it was as if they had faded from existence and were no long part of the story. His story.

Footsteps met his ear and he ducked into the alley. A dog - a very large dog - came into view, sniffing along the ground. For a moment Shikamaru was afraid the dog would find him and, indeed, it turned it's yellow eyes upon him. Yet the dog was not afraid; his tail gave a little wag. Shikamaru held his breath.

"Yo, Akamaru!" The dog's ears perked and he swivelled his head to peer back down the street. "Come on!" The dog bounded away and left Shikamaru in a puddle of relief. But he had recognized that voice and most certainly remembered the dog.

He dashed down the street after them, keeping in the shadows and reverting to rooftops when necessary. At last they arrived at Kiba's house, a quiet building surrounded by garden that Shikamaru had always admired for its silence and tranquility. He crept beneath the windows, once more keeping out of the light, before he arrived at the window leading to Kiba's room. It was there that he watched as Kiba wrestled with his canine companion, at last collapsing on his bed to doze off into dreamland.

Shikamaru turned away from the window, ignoring the pain that nipped at his heart. He had come here for a reason and thus far had yet to carry it out. But he had added to his mission; with any luck he'd break free of Konoha for dawn. With a hardened expression Shikamaru vanished from the Kiba household.

One by one he found himself making pit-stops at the homes of those he had known before. His childhood friends were doing well; the Hokage and former teachers as well. Chouji and Ino were not in their homes, though Shikamaru had an inkling he knew where they might be. Naruto was as happy as ever, Neji, Tenten and Lee the same as they'd always been. Even Master Gai, Kakashi and Kurenai seemed to be the same carefree and dedicated ninja that he remembered.

When he came upon his parents abode his heart rose to his throat.

On the day of the exile, neither of them had been pleased. He could recall their angered expressions so vividly, their hurt so obvious it pained him far greater than any punishment ever could. Now he could see naught but sorrow reflected in their eyes; it hurt as much to turn away as it did to stare on as they sat in the troubled silence that was their home.

Now he traversed the dirt roads that led through Konoha. The monument was not far away and he was almost dreading his arrival. He had forgotten Asuma and guilt wracked his mind. He hadn't meant to forget, to be sure, but that was no excuse, especially for him.

Shikamaru crouched before the massive stone, eyes closed. It was silent and dark and he wouldn't have had it any other way. No one would disturb him at this hour in the night - or early morning - and there was no way anyone would ever know he was there. He had expected Chouji and Ino to be here, as they were not home, but even he made mistakes; he couldn't say that in this case he terribly minded.

"I'm sorry," Shikamaru whispered. "I forgot about you. But don't flatter yourself; I think I forgot everyone else, too. I didn't want to, or at least I don't think I did."

He paused. An ant marched across the cement.

"I made a new life in Suna. I had to suffer embarrassment and humiliation, but I did it. I'm one of them now. Gaara isn't such a bad leader; Kankurou and Temari are annoying but if you get used to them... They're tolerable. Especially Temari."

He sighed. The wind rustled the leaves of the trees behind him.

"But you knew all that, didn't you? What do I do, Asuma? Even if they clear my name, can I come back?"

Shikamaru froze; someone was watching him. His eyes opened and he slowly lifted his head, turning to see who the intruder was. Two figures stood some distance away; if he hadn't been looking for them, he'd have never distinguished them from the darkness. He rose to his feet and took a step back. If they caught him, they would kill him, and he was sure Temari would give him hell to pay even if he wasn't of the living to receive it.

Three seconds ticked off in his head before he turn and ran. As he faded into the night, not once did they attack.

And, like so many times before, Shikamaru did not look back.

* * *

The village was quiet, silenced beneath a blanket of darkness they called the night. Clouds marred the starry sky, hiding the moon away and taking with them its light. Chouji and Ino crept along the street at a steady pace. It was the night of the day it had all happened; when Asuma had left them for good. Now they were making their way to the monument to pay their respects. This would be the first visit without Shikamaru. 

Ino didn't like it.

But then, there had been something wrong with this whole mess from the start. She and Sakura were thoroughly convinced that Shikamaru was innocent. There was still the question, however, as to why anyone would want to frame him in the first place. He was a genius, yes, but he was _lazy_ and wouldn't work for anyone anyway. And if any of the villains they'd faced before were involved, why had they given up their campaign to kidnap Naruto?

"You know we'll prove he's innocent, Ino," Chouji said quietly. "We just need a little time."

"A little more time and he'll be dead out in the middle of nowhere," Ino countered, hugging herself. "We don't even know if he's alive _now_."

"This is Shikamaru we're talking about, remember? He's smart; he won't _die_." Chouji sounded as if he were trying to convince himself as much as Ino.

"I hope you're right, Chouji..."

They rounded the corner, the monument a black lump in the distance. The monument, however, seemed bigger than usual. Ino squinted and held out her hand to stop Chouji.

"Chouji, there's someone there."

He too squinted ahead, falling reflexively into a defensive position. Neither of them could identify the figure up ahead - it was unlikely, but still entirely possible, that it was an enemy ninja. If that was a case, it was better to be prepared for an attack. But either the ninja sensed them coming or chose that moment to leave, for when Chouji took a step closer, the stranger sprang into the trees and disappeared from sight.

"That we weird," Chouji said as they approached the deserted monument. "Why would a ninja from another village visit the monument _here?_"

"Chouji," Ino breathed, tugging on his sleeve and pointing at the base of the monument. A single white flower lay there, an offering to one of the dead. It was tradition among the three that they each lay one white flower on the monument to pay their respects to Asuma; Chouji and Ino each held their own limp flower in their hands.

"Chouji, I think that was Shikamaru!"


	12. Chapter Eleven: Legends

**Disclaimer:** I don't own. Still.  
**A/N:** Yes, yes, I _know_; it's been forever and a day and here I am with a pitiful update. Chemistry and other school/social things have kept me from writing this chapter, as anyone who knows me IRL could tell you. But I'm back, hopefully with a good and constant update flow like I had when I first began. Admittedly, this chapter isn't anywhere near as long as I'd have liked, but partly what took me so long is that I could NOT get it started. I did, however, manage to get this first bit after some inspiration (Figgy will recognize this for sure), and here we are! All the reviews have been loved!

THANK YOU FOR **100** REVIEWS! I love you guys!

**Chapter Eleven: Legends**

* * *

"Shikamaru, what are you doing?"

"I'm supervising."

Temari folded her arms across her chest and stared down at Shikamaru with a doubtful look.

"With my eyes closed," he added, cracking open one eye to glance up at her. He lay stretched out on a bench set against an empty wall of the mission outpost, arms folded behind his head like a substitute pillow.

"You might want to start supervising with your eyes open," Temari replied with a smirk. She shoved him off the bench and to the floor with her right foot, resting it on the bench as he hit the ground with a grunt. "Because unless they've learned to turn invisible, the trainees are all gone."

Shikamaru sat up, rubbing his head, glaring at her with both his eyes. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but after traveling to Konoha and back, he was plenty tired. Not only had his charges escaped, however, but he had been late that morning, and had almost out-right agreed to letting the genin run amuck when they'd asked him when he had finally shown up. It would be a miracle if he still had a job when the day was through.

"Crap."

"They're all playing with Uncle Kankurou at the moment," she assured him, taking a seat on the bench he'd been sleeping on mere moments before. "His puppets aren't only good for battle, you know." Temari grinned as she watched Shikamaru sit beside her. He rubbed his eyes that held large bags beneath them, easily noticeable against his pale skin. Her grin faded. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine," he answered, and smothered a yawn with one hand. "Just tired. Really tired."

"Tomorrow is Saturday," Temari informed him. "You don't have to work; I can cover for you with Amaya. She'll understand." Shikamaru did not answer right away. Instead, a small frown tugged at his lips as his eyebrows creased together.

"Temari, is there a story behind the stone box near the valley?" he asked suddenly, lifting his dark eyes to stare into hers. She seemed startled at first, and then slightly nervous. Her hands toyed with the hem of her sleeve.

"Why?" she asked, decidedly suspicious. "You haven't seen it, have you?"

"No," Shikamaru lied, his calm face masking his betrayal. He could not recall having ever lied to anyone but the enemy; honesty was a policy he lived by. Now, however, he believed it was necessary if he was ever going to get the answers he sought. "One of the village idiots told me about it. I think they were trying to scare me away." Temari seemed relieved at his words and relaxed a bit.

"It's just a village superstition, really," she said with a slight shake of her head. "I mean, no one's ever seen it, so it probably doesn't exist. But the records say it does. According to the legend, the stone box, or the _Cervatrerus_, is a prison created by the Old Nin to lock away the _Kumorianei_ forever. It is said that the Kumorianei was a demon who granted those it possessed with terrible power at the price of their sanity. The story says that the Cervatrerus could only be seen and opened by a member of the Kumorianei's host clan, and only by one who's heart and soul was torn in two. The monument near the ocean is the only record of which clan the Kumorianei belonged to, but no one knows for sure what it means."

Her story was met with silence, and for a moment Temari thought Shikamaru had drifted off to sleep again. His eyes were open, though they were glazed over; he seemed to be staring at nothing even as she looked directly into his eyes. He did not speak and hardly seemed to be breathing; his fingers had fallen into a stance that was becoming very familiar.

Shikamaru was thinking.

Temari wasn't quite sure what she had said to trigger such a brainstorm, but something about her story had sent Shikamaru into a flurry of thought. Several tedious seconds passed before either of them spoke again, and when Temari finally said she should go, he answered with such a distracted tone she suspected he hadn't heard her at all. She rose from her seat and made to exit the building. One last glance at the thoughtful ninja told her it would be a long while before he moved.

Temari pulled open the door and stepped into the warm, bustling streets.

* * *

The following morning found Shikamaru, not in his bed asleep as Temari had intended, but deep within the confines of the library, surrounded by several stacks of poorly bound books. His nose was mere inches away from the frail, yellow pages and their old, musty scent was very strong. The books weren't really books at all; records, rather, of the village history. They recorded every Kazekage, every ninja to pass through its ranks. The Old Nin had recorded almost every little ongoing within the village, and yet for the life of him Shikamaru could not find any reference to the Cervatrerus. 

With a sigh he snapped shut the records book, gingerly placing it on top of a teetering pile that sat on his right. Shikamaru had chosen a secluded corner in the Suna library, one without any windows and away from the prying eyes of the batty librarian. Three times she had come to spy on him, lurking behind bookshelves where she thought he could not see her. She seemed to slowly be granting him trust, as her tutting was growing less and less common as the day wore on.

As he opened up the next book, a wave of dust rose up from the pages, morphing his wide yawn into a hacking cough. The librarian moved around the corner just to glare at him, and Shikamaru did his best to present an innocent look.

For a fleeting moment, he thought the newest set of records would contain something worth his searching. His hope was quickly squashed, however, as it turned out to be nothing more than an extremely long record of what little crop growth Suna had to offer. Perhaps his searching was futile; he didn't know if there was anything to find. After all, Temari had said it was nothing but a legend - did the Cervatrerus really not exist? No. He was sure he had seen it.

Unless he was going crazy.

Shikamaru shook the thought from his mind as he closed the record book and placed it on top of the growing stack. He stood with a soft groan, stretching his limbs before gathering the books he'd skimmed through and meandering back toward the shelves. As he slowly replaced the books to their proper place, his mind retraced the events of the day before which, at the time, had felt to be horribly long. He thought of the children that had tormented him, how they refused to listen to his authority; how he had fallen asleep and Temari had found him childless and all alone.

She had looked so beautiful in the sunlight streaming through the windows, strong and independent...

Shikamaru felt his face grow warm as he came to terms with what he was thinking. He glanced around, as if to be sure there was no one around to hear his thoughts, and placed the last book on its shelf with more force than necessary. A paper fluttered own from the shelf above and landed on his face. Shikamaru stepped down to the ground, scowling and growing more flustered as he tripped and landed on his bottom. He angrily peeled the paper from his face. It was torn, and appeared to be some sort of letter, dating back to the time of the Old Nin. The ink was smudged, the paper old and frail; many of the words were hard to decipher.

What could be read sent Shikamaru's mind into a whirl.

_... successfully trapped it within the Cervatrerus. Never again shall the Kumorianei torment our people. It is with sincerest regret that I inform you that the removal of Kumorianei has rendered Nara insane. We have taken responsibility for him; he will be disposed of next week. I, myself, have risen to take his place as Kazekage. An escort will return Nara's only son to Konoha in two days - we hope you will accept him as one of your own, lest I remind you it was his father with whom you quarreled, not the boy._

_Once more I must press my deepest regrets. May we rest in peace knowing the shadows will no longer plague our lands._

_Sincerely yours,  
__Kazuo Sato_


	13. Chapter Twelve: The Scent of Sand

**Disclaimer:** I don't own; otherwise it would be the 'Shikamaru' franchise. :D  
**A/N:** Um. I died? Sorry for the lack of updates, but I've been under major stress lately. With the AP Chemistry exam coming up soon (Yikes!), it'll be a while before I can update again. I know it's been a while, and this chapter should be, like, ten pages long, but it's not. And, quite frankly, I know it sucks. But it was this or nothing, and I thought this might help. It's a filler chapter, but hey, it advances the plot. Sort of. Sets up for the next chapter, more like, which I can't wait to write! On the bright side, I've already got my sequel planned and ready, so I'll finish this one ASAP so I can move on. Haha. Thanks for all the reviews!

**Chapter Twelve: The Scent of Sand**

**

* * *

**The stone box stood there, gleaming in the moonlight. Shikamaru moved forward to touch it, his hand brushing against the cold, smooth rock. The moment his fingers made contact with the box, it disappeared, bursting into dust before his very eyes. He let out a moan of surprise and blinked as if to be sure the box was really gone. When he opened his eyes, he lay in bed, drenched in a fine film of sweat. 

It had only been a dream.

Breathing heavily, as if he'd just run a marathon, Shikamaru sat up in bed. He ran a clammy hand through his shoulder-length hair. He closed his eyes and rested his face in his hands. It was the third dream he'd had that night about the stone box, the seventh in the two days since his discovery of the letter. No matter what he thought about prior to sleeping, it seemed that all his dreams centered around the finding of the box.

He wondered if his father knew of their heritage; that before anything else, their clan had once been ninja of Suna. Perhaps that was why Shikamaru felt so much at home. No, he thought with a sigh as he fell back on his bed - feelings couldn't be passed through generations. Yet everything made much more sense: the poem inscribed on the monument near the sea, being the only able to see the stone structure in the desert. It was as if history was repeating itself, and Shikamaru's supposed attempts at murder were his version of fights with Konoha ninja.

Did that mean he could open the box?

Shikamaru fell back on his head with a groan. Ever since he had left Konoha, his life had only been twisted and pulled until it was so complicated even his brain was having trouble keeping up. Not only did he have relationship issues like every other young adult, but he had been accused of attempted murders he would never dream of committing, and likewise banished from the one place he had ever felt at home. Granted, he felt just as comfortable living in Suna as he had in Konoha. It was almost as if someone had wanted him to be found by Temari...

Seeing as it was too hot for covers in the first place, Shikamaru merely rolled over, shut his eyes, and drifted into a broken sleep for the third time that night.

* * *

"You're sure?" Tsunade repeated, staring intently at the young man standing on the other side of her desk. He nodded, and she heaved a sigh. "Very well, then. At least we know he isn't dead." 

"I believe he's been staying in another village," the man added. "He smelled... different."

"Have you mentioned this to anyone else?"

"No. Ino and Chouji are aware he was here, however; Ino informed me that they saw him at Asuma's grave the other night."

"All right," Tsunade sighed. "Thank you, Kiba. Ino and Chouji may want to know, but this must remain secret from everyone else. If any of the council members find out, we'll have no hope of saving him." Kiba nodded, whistled to Akamaru, and the two exited Tsunade's office in search of Ino and Chouji.

As he left the building, Kiba allowed his mind to wander. It was hard to believe that Shikamaru had been in the village just two nights ago; to Kiba, if felt as if Shikamaru were already dead. But, unless Shikamaru had a clone he hadn't bothered to tell anyone about (which, considering his IQ, Kiba found he wouldn't be the least bit surprised), only Shikamaru had that scent. Kiba's nose didn't lie; that had been Shikamaru lurking about the monument. Why, though, had he reeked of Suna sand? Kiba suspected that Shikamaru had made a beeline for the sand village, and asked for help from his supposed 'not girlfriend' and her motley brothers. While this certainly wasn't a bad thing, and Kiba was grateful his friend was still alive, it would mean trouble if the council found out. The treaty between Suna and Konoha had already suffered enough.

"Hey, Kiba!"

The canine-friendly ninja turned, catching a flash of bobbing pink hair before Sakura appeared beside him, unusually happy considering the circumstances.

"What's up?" Kiba asked, casting her a questioning look. Sakura grinned, bouncing lightly as they walked along, bursting with the urge to tell him something excited.

"Remember how we've been trying to find some way to explain Shikamaru's innocence?"

How could he forget? "Yeah..."

"Well, Ino and I finally found a way to prove it!" Kiba nearly ran into a wall, staring back at Sakura with a dumb expression.

"What? _How_? I mean-"

"It's about his jutsu; he was in the hospital under Tsunade's care-"

"What?! Then why didn't she _do something_?" Kiba asked angrily, his fists curling at his sides.

"Because Shikamaru made her promise not to tell," Sakura explained impatiently with a wave of her hand. She sounded as if she were explaining the alphabet to a five year old. "Look, if she had said something, it would have been like you being forced to kill Akamaru; Healers can't break promises."

"Fine, then," Kiba said reluctantly. He was still angry, but there wasn't anything they could do about it in the first place. "What are we going to do about it? We can't just blab on to the council..."

"I'm going to speak with Tsunade, first. There isn't much she can deny, now that we've found out."

"Did Ino tell you what she saw?"

"The other night, you mean? Yeah... If Chouji hadn't seen it, too, I don't know if I'd believed her."

"It was him. I could smell him. He's been staying in Suna."

"Suna?" Sakura echoed, staring up at Kiba with a strange look. "Couldn't we-"

"No," kiba interrupted, shaking his head. "There's no way we could get everyone to Suna without making it look suspicious."

"There's a representative going to Suna next week. We could get Tsunade to cancel, and some of us could go-"

"Ino will want to," Kiba said, knowing there was little sense in arguing. "Chouji, too. Naruto would probably blow everything, so he should stay here. Hinata, Shino, and I should stay here. Someone has to man the home front." Sakura beamed.

"Oh, this will be wonderful! He's probably miserable out there in the desert."

* * *

Shikamaru lay on his back, gazing up at the black expanse that was his ceiling. It had taken too many nightmares, lost sleep, and internal debates, but he had finally reached a decision. Regardless as to what Temari said, he had a feeling that the box as real, and now he had proof. He didn't care who tried to stop him; Shikamaru had to do what he had to do. Tomorrow night he would open the box. For a moment, he almost reconsidered, as he had several times already. After all, curiosity had killed the cat. 

Then again, satisfaction brought him back.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Sunaiyou

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.  
**A/N:** Right. Two months. Sorry! Anywho, I figure five and a half pages of Exile is enough to make up for it, and if not... well, that's all I have. Unfortunately for you, this chapter does not contain what you've all been waiting for. The box doesn't even make an appearance. But that's in the next chapter, so keep your heads up. Anywho, hope you enjoy this, and thanks again for all the reviews! Beware the ShikaTema that lies ahead...

**Chapter Thirteen: Sunaiyou**

* * *

The following morning couldn't have come any slower. After a night of little sleep and too many nightmares, Shikamaru was ready to start his day, if only absolutely exhausted. If his father had taught him anything, however, it was that a nice, warm shower and a cup of black coffee was enough to wake any man up. And so, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he clumsily started the coffee brewer and stepped into a steaming shower. 

Standing beneath the shower head he rinsed the shampoo from his hair, digging his fingers down to the scalp and scrubbing as hard as he could as if attempting to wash away his nightmares along with the daily grime that had collected there. The dreams remained, however, and Shikamaru was left with very clean hair and a sore scalp, the previous night's dreams still very well intact. He cut the water and pulled back the shower curtain, snatching the towel that hung on the single hook perched on the wall to his right. He quickly dried himself off and wrapped the towel haphazardly about his waist, twisted the door, and stepped out into the hall, where he promptly let out a startled yelp. His face slowly began to glow scarlet as his grip on his towel tightened.

Temari seemed to find the idea of Shikamaru being so modest absolutely hilarious, as she leaned against the wall and let loose a fit of laughter.

Shikamaru let out a slight snarl as he stalked down the hall to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. He dressed with three times the speed he usually did and was rubbing down his hair with Temari found her voice long enough to speak. Naturally, it wasn't a particularly nice comment, and offered him no explanation as to why she was even in his new home to begin with.

"You know, I never took you to be an early riser," she said, her voice unusually loud through the thick door; she had moved closer to his room.

"Is there a reason you decided to stand outside my shower, or do you just enjoy having the reputation of a female pervert?" Shikamaru shot back thickly; he was attempting to run a comb through his hair (which seemed to grow decidedly more tangled ever since he'd started to wear it down), the headband that normally rested on his arm pressed between his teeth.

"Actually, I came here to pick you up," Temari replied, her tone more casual now that their ritual insults had been taken care of. Shikamaru paused to think about this.

"For what?" he asked. Temari seemed to decide that he was done changing (or just didn't care if he was half-naked or not) and opened the door, smirking at the sight before her. Shikamaru absently wished his room wasn't such a cluttered mess, knowing all the while that it would take more than words to convince him to clean the ocean of dirty laundry scattered on the floor.

"The Sunaiyou Festival," she answered, shaking her head at the mess. "Are the clothes you're wearing even clean?" Shikamaru glanced down at the rumpled clothes he'd gathered moments before.

"I dunno."

"You ever going to clean?"

"Too troublesome."

"I noticed your kitchen was spotless; do you even know how to cook?"

"_Yes_," Shikamaru growled indignantly. "I do clean my kitchen; I'm not that disgusting."

"So you admit that you are just a little bit gross?"

"Aren't we too old for games like this?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. By now he had tossed his comb somewhere into his room (he'd try and find it later, or maybe just buy a new one), and was in the process of tying his headband around his arm. It was harder than it looked, and some days it was almost too tricky to put it on single-handed. He was determined that it wasn't going to be one of those days, however, not with Temari standing in the doorway, and made quick business of it.

"What's the Sunaiyou Festival?" Shikamaru asked as he slipped past her and into the hall, making a beeline for the kitchen.

"Suna's annual festival. We have it every summer; it's the one day of the year when every ninja has the day off, so we don't broadcast it to our enemies." Temari followed him into the tiny kitchen.

"Is it mandatory?" Shikamaru grumbled as he removed two slices of bread from a severely diminishing loaf, and popped them into the toaster. He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a long swig without adding anything to it; Temari made a slightly disgusted face.

"Well, no, I guess not," she began, a small frown working at her lips. "But I don't think staying here and doing nothing would be such a good idea."

"Who says I'd be doing nothing? There's paperwork that needs to be done..." he trailed off as he removed a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard. Who was he kidding? He wouldn't do paperwork on his day off.

"That's not the point," Temari said, sounding somewhat exasperated with the conversation and Shikamaru's lack of enthusiasm. "The festival is all about celebrating Suna and embracing our culture. To not participate shows that you don't care about our village, which marks you as an outsider."

"So," Shikamaru said, sounding somewhat colder than before. "They already think that. What difference would it make?"

"If you _went_," Temari continued with more vigor, "then you'd be proving them otherwise. The only way you're going to be accepted by Suna's people is if you act like one of Suna's people. I know you miss Konoha, Shikamaru, but that isn't your home anymore. _This_ is your home now, and these are your people."

The toaster went off and Shikamaru caught his toast with surprising speed before they hit the counter. He quickly coated them with a thick layer of peanut butter, a choice Temari found to be a bit odd, and took a large bite as he returned the peanut butter to its lair in the cupboard. Then, just as she decided she may as well leave, he decided to speak.

"Whatever," he said after a swallow. "I'll go if it means you'll stop bugging me."

Temari grinned.

"Hurry up and eat, bonehead," she said, all business now that he'd agreed to be dragged along. "We're already late."

"This is going to be troublesome; I can feel it already..."

* * *

If the streets had been crowded before, it was nothing compared to the mass of citizens that surged before Shikamaru now. As if by magic (though he suspected it was more or less work that spanned from a late night into an early morning), streamers and balloons now decorated the building tops and posts, a mix of reds, oranges, and yellows. Stalls had been setup on the sides of the streets, selling various foods, toys, and trinkets; business seemed to be booming, and everywhere he looked women wore at least one purple flower in some fashion or another. Children danced and played, while adults laughed and smiled; everyone seemed to be extremely happy. 

In fact, Temari noted sadly, Shikamaru seemed to be the only one sporting a frown.

"Would it kill you to at least pretend to be happy?" Temari said at last, folding her arms across her chest as he eyed him with a light glare.

"I just don't see much of a point in being here," he replied, his usual bored-to-death tone lacing his words.

"Don't even try to tell me that you didn't celebrate anything back in Konoha."

"Well, we did, but... not like this." He glanced around as if to indicate every portion of the festival that surrounded them. "Or at least I didn't. I don't like the noise."

"Well, it doesn't matter what you did then," Temari decided. "It's what you're going to do now."

"And what's that?" Shikamaru asked dryly, raising a brow.

"Enjoy yourself," she answered simply, "even if I have to force you to."

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose?" Temari didn't answer, however, choosing instead to grab his arm and drag him through the crowd, leaving a trail of disgruntled people behind her. As he pulled up beside her, she seemed to decide that he wouldn't try and slip away, and released his arm. Shikamaru's frown grew as he continued to study the crowd.

"Temari, what are these purple flowers for?" he asked, tearing his eyes away from a pair of children squabbling over a toy.

"Oh, those," Temari said with a slight grin. "That's the sunaiyou flower; it grows in just one place in the entire world, and that's just north of the village. It's customary for a man to give one to the woman he loves the day of the festival. Of course, only older couples participate; the children are too young for that sort of thing. It's said that the flower will deliver ensure good health to the woman's future children. The flowers wilt a few hours after dark, but there's an old myth that says the flower will never die if, on the day the flower was given to her, the woman conceives a child."

"Suna has too many myths," Shikamaru grumbled. Temari laughed.

"It's part of your culture now, so you'd better get used to it," she said. "At least we aren't superstitious. Hey, do you- Shikamaru?" Temari stopped walking and turned her head, eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of the lazy ninja. "Shikamaru!" He had disappeared, however, and Temari let out a frustrated sigh, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Here."

Temari blinked and turned her head to the right. Shikamaru stood beside her, a single sunaiyou flower held gingerly between his fingertips.

"Shikamaru-" Temari began, but he cut her off with a slight scowl.

"Don't go assuming anything, woman," he snapped. "... I just figured, you know, that you wouldn't want to be the only girl without one." Despite his words he was now staring off to his left, his cheeks burning a soft pink.

"Thank you," Temari said with a slight smirk. She took the flower from him and tucked it into her hair above her ear. "Now, then; where to first?"

* * *

"That wasn't so bad, now, was it?" 

"I lived."

Shikamaru and Temari twisted through the crowd which, despite the darkening skies, had not thinned out from the morning rush. There was an air of excitement in the streets, mingled with the strong scent of anticipation. The crowd was waiting for something, though Shikamaru was not entirely sure what it was. If the day's events were anything to judge by, however, he didn't doubt that it was anything short of spectacular.

"The fireworks will be starting soon," Temari announced eagerly. She took his hand this time, rather than his arm, and lead him down several side streets. They came to a large building where Temari pulled him inside, taking him up a long set of winding stairs. A door granted them passage to the roof, where the rest of the city could be seen down below.

Shikamaru leaned against the railing, watching the happy citizens of Suna mingle among themselves. He didn't realize he was grinning until Temari, who had been watching him, asked what he was so happy about.

"Nothing," he said quickly, forcing his smile away. Then, to change the subject, "anymore traditions I should know about?"

"None that apply to us," Temari said, following his gaze to the streets that twisted below them. "When the first fireworks go off, usually couples share a kiss... But like I said, nothing you need to worry about." Shikamaru frowned.

Suddenly, the sky lit up in a flurry of multi-colored lights, explosions, and crackles. He watched the spectacle a moment, rather impressed with the display, before tilting his head to look at Temari. She was watching the sky with wide, excited eyes, in which he could see the lights reflected. He gently placed a hand on her arm, and she turned to look at him with a quizzical expression. Shikamaru hesitated a moment as his heart skipped a beat, before he leaned in and kissed her.

It wasn't a particularly magic moment; Temari did not feel as if she could soar into the sky, or as if a series of sparks had passed between them; other than the ones already howling above their heads, there were no fireworks, and the kiss, rather than lasting forever, felt as if it had been far too short. But it was still a kiss, and Temari was happy all the same. Beside her she felt Shikamaru fidget, and asked him what was wrong.

"It's ridiculous, really," he began, shaking his head as he peered back down at the crowd. "But... in Konoha, a man must ask permission to court the woman he loves, and..."

"And you aren't in Konoha anymore," Temari said quietly. She took up his hand and squeezed it, a gentle smile gracing her lips. "You belong to us now, remember?"

He smiled again, this time at both her words and the sudden simplicity of the world.

"I remember."

"Good. Now, let's go inside," she said, pulling him off toward the door they'd entered from. "It's getting chilly out here." Shikamaru knitted his eyebrows together; it seemed perfectly warm to him...

In the street below, Kankuro stared up at the now empty railing, a smirk lining his face that was free of paint and hood. It had taken a while, but the lazy ninja had finally made a move.

* * *

Shikamaru's eyes snapped open and were met with darkness. He lay still, allowing his eyes to adjust, before rolling onto his side. Temari lay beside him, her eyes closed and mouth slightly parted as she dreamed. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her; the Sunaiyou Festival hadn't been so bad, after all. Moving slowly and quietly so not to wake her, Shikamaru slipped out of the bed and dressed himself. He left his headband in his place on the bed, a sign that he would return soon, should she wake to find him absent. The last thing he wanted was for Temari to worry; she was just as troublesome as his mother, it seemed, and she was a royal nightmare when she worried. 

The window of the room was open, purple curtains swaying in the slight breeze. Shikamaru perched on the windowsill, staring out at the street before him. The stalls were still in place, as were the streamers and semi-deflated balloons. Litter covered the streets - he didn't doubt that the entire village would be on cleanup duty in the morning. He spared himself one last glance at the woman asleep on the bed before he leapt to the street below and into the night.


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Shadelet

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.  
**A/N:** Um. Yeah. Hi? xD; I know it's been more than forever and a day, and I apologize; I honestly don't have much of an excuse, other than that I temporarily had lost interest in Naruto. But now it's back full force, and I'm SO excited for this fic! I could ramble on all day, but I'll save that for the end of the chapter. This didn't turn out exactly how I'd planned it, but... well, I like this better.

**Note:** Because someone's going to comment - For the remainder of this story, you must assume that CANON chapters 370+ have NOT happened. You'll know why when you get to it, but just keep that in mind.

**Chapter Fourteen: Shadelet**

* * *

He could hear the sand crunching beneath his feet, almost louder than the sound of his heart thumping wildly in his ears. The roar of the ocean seemed strangely muted, the wind still, the air warm. The village lights were but a dim twinkle in the distance, and an endless void of darkness stretched before. He stopped walking, eyes trained on the box that had been the center of his unending nightmares. There was no turning back now. 

It was time.

He lifted a hand, ghastly pale in the clear moonlight, and placed it over the hand print carved into the side of the box. For a moment nothing happened, and he had to wonder if perhaps this wasn't all a dream, after all. Eyebrows knitted together, he directed his chakra to his palm. Light erupted from beneath his pam, twisting over the designs etched in the stone; it scalded his hand and he jerked away, only to cover his eyes with his arm as the light grew bright enough to blind him. The image of the lit box still swimming beneath his eyelids, he forced himself to open his eyes. Still dimly glowing, it no longer pained him to look at the stone structure.

Once more he placed his hand on the rock. The light vanished, and he was left with unadjusted eyes, his sense of touch his only promise that the box was still there. As his eyes adjusted, he felt something tug at his hand, and he watched as his upper arm was pulled _into_ the stone wall. He froze, staring with wide eyes at his arm and the pool of darkness that surrounded it. There was a second tug on his arm and, still numb from shock, allowed himself to be gently coaxed into the box.

The darkness he found himself in was absolute. The soft light of the moon had vanished, his fingers invisible as he wiggled them before his face. Rather than panic, a strange sense of calm washed over him; the darkness seemed to soak his skin and seep into his bones. His own breathing was the only sound, and he closed his eyes, savoring the quiet; he felt as if he could stay there forever.

_Welcome, little Shadelet._

Shikamaru tensed, eyes helplessly darting around him, searching for the source of the voice.

"Who's there?"

_Shush; there's no need to speak aloud. Your mind is the only voice you need._

"_What are you?"_

_I believe the proper question is 'who am I'; I also believe that you know the answer._

"_If I knew the answer, I wouldn't be asking."_ Shikamaru felt uneasy; a creature that could read his mind had to be dangerous - not to mention that it had been locked in a box for Hokage knew how long.

_Mind your mouth, young one; a sharp tongue will do you no good._

"_Why did you bring me here?"_

The voice barked a short, cruel laugh that sent chills down his spine.

_You are the one who is torn in two, are you not? It was not I who called you here - it was destiny._

Not only did this sound incredibly cheesy to Shikamaru, but despite his usual laziness, his patience was wearing thin.

"_Tell me what you want, or let me go."_ He paused. _"On second thought, just let me go."_

_You can't slip away that easily, Shadelet. Aren't you curious? You wish to know what I am, how I came to be here; you want answers..._ He felt something brush against his cheek; he could feel the faintest form of fingers, soft as silk, against what might have otherwise been a quiet breeze. _I can tell you everything._

"_... Who are you?"_

_"Let me put your heart at ease, Shadelet; let me show you everything..."_

* * *

The sounds of a rushing river blasted in his ears, twisted with the screech of several crows and the distant howl of a lone wolf. He opened his eyes and, to his immense surprise, was greeting with a vibrant blue sky free of clouds. Grunting, Shikamaru sat up, rubbing his head, squinting at the sudden intrusion of light. As he stared at the river that he sat beside, his mind slowly turned. His bitter expression gave way to confusion as he pulled himself to his feet. 

"_Where am I?"_

Shikamaru frowned; he had meant to speak his words aloud, but instead they had formed in his mind.

_Near the Valley of End. Follow the path._

Shikamaru's gaze slid to the ground. He stood at the end of a well-tread dirt path. Doing as told, he followed the trail into the trees. The further he moved, the more familiar everything seemed - he had traveled this path countless times with Ino, Chouji, and Asuma when they should have been training... His heart twinged in sadness.

_Be calm, Shadelet; we're nearly there._

He stepped though the end of the brush, the magnificent waterfall looming into view. It was different from the waterfall he remembered; there were no statues poised at either end, and the cliffs seemed significantly taller. Shikamaru squinted up at the high cliffs, and spotted two figures, one on either side of the waterfall. The air around him seemed to grow tense, and when the voice spoke again, it held a fire that had not been present before.

_Do you know what it is you see, Shadelet?_

"_Is this the Battle of the End?"_

_Indeed it is; you are a clever one. And do you know who was in the Battle of the End?_

"_The First Hokage and..."_

_And a man by the name of Nara._

"_That's impossible!"_

Above him, the First Hokage initiated the battle; before long it was a blur of movement, the occasional flash of silver glinting in the bright sunlight. Shikamaru found himself unable to move, staring at the battle above with glazed eyes. How could his ancestor have fought at the Valley of End? And to what purpose?

_They were great friends, you know. But the grand Hokage grew jealous of Nara's power. He wanted it for himself, so that he might conquer the small village of Konoha. Naturally, Nara refused to give up his power, and thus they battled._

"_The First Hokage was not greedy,"_ Shikamaru protested, shaking his head.

_How do you know that?_ The voice hissed. _You weren't alive. Do you know the source of Nara's power?_

Shikamaru watched as a thick veil of darkness seeped from one of the figures, crawling over the landscape, until the second figure was consumed.

_Me._

* * *

_Your Hokage was a strong man, I'll give him that. The battle fell into a draw, and Nara agreed to leave._

Shikamaru found himself surrounded by cool darkness yet again. His heart still racing, he found it comforting. In his short time in the Cervatrerus, he'd grown accustomed to the strange voice; he could feel the ghost of an embrace wrapped around his shoulders.

"_That explains the monument, then; Nara wouldn't want to leave his family and friends behind in Konoha, but he had no choice..."_

_Something still troubles you, Shadelet._ It was a statement, not a question.

"_You haven't told me why you're in this... box. Or what happened to Nara after the battle - somehow he returned to Konoha, didn't he?"_

_You know how the story ends. The villagers of Suna revolted against Nara - they feared him and his power. The council took me away from him..._

Images flashed through Shikamaru's mind. A torch-lit chamber underground; a young man bearing a strong resemblance to Gaara performing jutsu signs; wide, fearful eyes of a man that reminded Shikamaru of his father; blood-curdling screams that sent fast chills down his spine...

"_Stop!"_

_You wanted the truth. They took me away, and sealed me in this wretched box. Nara's son attended the proceedings; he was twelve years old. Nara himself went insane. They shipped his son back to Konoha and killed Nara the moment after._

Shikamaru felt sweat slick against his skin; if he could see his fingers, he would notice their heavy trembling. The scream of his ancestor still rang in his ears, his panicked gaze burned into eyes...

_Calm yourself, Shadelet._ The ghost touch was cool against his skin as it brushed away the bangs plastered to his forehead. Shikamaru closed his eyes, washed over with a strange sense of calm. He leaned back against the stone wall behind him as invisible arms held him close in a comforting hold.

* * *

As his eyes fluttered open, Shikamaru was not so sure he'd opened them to begin with. A familiar darkness greeted him, the stone wall still chill against his back. Ghost fingers brushed his cheek as he attempted to gain his bearings. 

_Did you sleep well, Shadelet?_

"_How long did I sleep?"_

_Keep calm, young one; there is no time in this infernal contraption._

"_... Do you get lonely, Kumorianei?"_

_You remember my name!_ The voice sounded pleased. _Yes, it does get lonesome._ Something brushed against his fingers.

"_... Is there a way to free you?"_

_Yes, Shadelet._

"_How?"_

_You must use my power, little one, like the Nara before you._

"_Will they try to kill me, Kumo?"_

_You're a clever one; if they never know, they'll never try. It will be our secret._

"_And you won't hurt me?"_

_I would never hurt you, young one; never._

And suddenly his skull erupted in an intense pain, like a thousand bullets shooting through his head. He screamed in agony, a twisted, deafening sound that reverberated off the walls back to him. He clawed at his head, nails piercing the scalp, droplets of red blood splattering his fingers and hands, meshing with his sweat and matting in his hair.

And then, as abruptly as it started, it was over. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he fell forward, unconscious.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, I hope you liked it! Some of this kind of freaked me out when I was writing it. Anywho, this chapter might be a bit confusing; if you have any questions, ask them in a review, and I'll be happy to answer them! Make sure they're either signed reviews, or that you leave an email address, however, or I won't be able to respond. The soundtrack on my profile has also been updated! 


End file.
